My Favorite Xmas.

Enjoy! Best of the holidays to you and yours.



With: Sara Jo Allocco, Brandy Barber, Jay Bois, Katina Corrao, Peter Kassnove, Aaron Kheifets, Livia Scott, Matt Sears, and Baron Vaughn

Directed by Nathan Kloke & Brandy Barber

www.myspace.com/thekissingboothnyc

Wearing silk suits tryin' not to sweat.

Here's what's up with me.

1) This playlist, over and over today:

• Animal Collective "Who Could Win a Rabbit?"
• Beenie Man "Dude (Panjabi Hit Squad Remix)"
• Mavado "Weh Dem A Do"
• The White Stripes "Hello Operator"
• Tego Calderón "El Abayarde"
• Dr Dog "Adeline"
• Cat Power "Lived In Bars"
• Wolfman "For Lovers"
• The Stills "Still In Love Song"
• The Rapture "House Of Jealous Lovers"
• Gorillaz "Clint Eastwood (Ed Case Remix)"
• Outkast "Bombs Over Baghdad"
• Roll Deep "Heartache"
• ARE Weapons "Don't Be Scared"
• Dead Prez "Hell Yeah"
• Cam'ron "Killa Cam"
• Rick Ross "Hustlin'"
• Young Jeezy "My Hood"
• Swizz Beatz "It's Me Bitches"
• Terror Squad "Take You Home"
• R Kelly f. Akon & Sean Paul "Slow Wine (Remix)"
• Akon "I Can't Wait"
• NORE "Oye Mi Canto"
• Damian Marley "Welcome to Jamrock"
• Ladyhawk "My Old Jacknife"
• Bill Callahan "Sycamore"
• Lavender Diamond "You Broke My Heart"
• The Strokes "Hard To Explain"
• The Roots "Thought At Work (Original Version)"
• Kanye West "Celebration"

2) Coveting and slobbering and plotting to obtain:


















These are limited edition Yo! MTV Raps/Doug E. Fresh Pumas. The sickest. They have MC Shan and Big Daddy Kane ones, too. As Lianne Stokes would say, "That's sexual".

3) Lots and lots or Diet Dr. Pepper.

Peace be with you, bitches. More later.

Daddy's Girl.

You can say all the fucked up nasty things you want about Ms. Amy Winehouse. She's a terror and I am frankly glad of the fact that she is out there making trouble for all who cross her path. She has a great sound that's a much more slick and tender homage to the big bad-ass ladies of Motown past than the mass produced pop tripe we get over here in the States. Although I love me some Christina Aguilera and hope someday to do some shots with her and dance on a cocktail round or two, our little X-tina wishes she was this raw, fun, and savage all in one. So, since I'm asking so very nicely, could everyone fucking shut up and stop shit-talking her? Because sometimes the reason something blows up is because it's GENUINELY GOOD. * Just because the masses have sniffed her out doesn't diminish the fact that she's a unique and important and awesome. Guess what? Nirvana was huge, too, whether they liked it or not.

And by the way, I dedicate this song to all the idiots I was forced to endure while drinking at the Whiskey this past Monday night with the Get Fresh Crew '07- Allocco, Manzella, Kloke and the like (and later, Von Poppelen & Hughes and Mister Jack Daniels, natch).


*Coldplay not included. Sorry, Allocco.

THE KISSING BOOTH THIS SATURDAY NITE!!!

THE KISSING BOOTH is a monthly comedy showcase hosted by duo Brandy & Sara. Stand ups, sketch, songs, and more from NYC's premiere performers, always with a spectacularly drunken finale. If you can't make the show, drop in for the FREE late nite dance party that begins directly after- cheap booze all nite long. Pucker Up For Comedy!


WE'RE BACK, FOOLS!!!

The Kissing Booth presents: HAPPY THUNKS-GIVING!!!

Nov. 10th, 2007
THE TANK
279 Church Street between Franklin and White
Doors and $3 beers at 10 pm
Show at 10:30 SHARP
Tickets $5 (cheap!)
FREE Basement Dance Party to follow with $3 Beers 'Til Dawn

After a year full of insanity, Brandy and Sara Jo are more than ready to reflect on the bounty of glad tidings bestowed upon them by giving obnoxious, drunken "THUNKS". And they've asked some smokin' hot comedy types to come out and help! Don't let the turkeys get you down, come out and savor the pumpkin pie flavor of:

ADAM WADE!

JOSELYN HUGHES!

CASSIDY HENEHAN!

JENNY RUBIN!

SHAYNA FERM!

DAN ALLEN!

...and videos from ANDREW CONDELL & DRINK AT WORK!

PLUS: a holiday heart warming lesson will be taught to Brandy and Sara by the 718 Cold Krumpin' Crew, candy, dancing, shamelessness, pictures of you looking all sizzling hot taken by our incredibly talented co-hort Nathan Kloke (www.nathankloke.com), and surely, A KRUMP OFF WILL ENSUE!

If you haven't been at a Booth show for a while, this is NOT TO BE MISSED. SEE YOU THERE! BRING YOUR DRUNK DANCIN' PALS!

It's Coming Up, Like Paul McCartney & Wings.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: So I have been the world's worst blog-nerd as of late. I took some time off- say, two months or so- and did all kinds of things and was incredibly poor at being consistent in my updates. I am very sorry. What can I say, a lot was going down.

But now, I am back. And we are going to "do it up right, girl", "all NIGHT, girl"! I am going to "come correct" and it will be "all silky silky now". What? Ewwwww.

So, one of the things I got up to recently was getting to see one of my fave music type ladies live. I got my paws on a pair of prime tickets to see M.I.A. at the newly opened Terminal 5 and it was insane. Hands down one of the best shows I have ever been to. Such a great performer, so full of energy and her music combined with the cavernous space- which I hear used to be an airplane hangar- was intense. No one who went to this concert did not dance- NO ONE. M.I.A. and her music were infectious, not to mention her dope moves onstage (or those of her slinky back up dancer lady clad in hologram spandex to boot!). The video installations were intriguing and elicited so many cheers from the crowd I feel like they could have had their own show. All in all, one of the best live music gigs you could have been at and, danced on the damn stage at. And the little Ms. herself, after inviting half the crowd up there, managed to run them about and command them even though most of them were towering over her.

Man, I wish I hadn't gotten so drunk because I'd have grabbed a shirt. Ah, well. Next time.

All pix courtesy of a FLICKR search- thunks and thunks.

Halloween Part 1: Pucker Up.

There are many, many parts, kind of like R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet. More to follow. I am lazy and never around during the day to post anymore. So busy!

Check out the dress, bought directly from London and in full effect! I got to live my dream of being Geri Halliwell for a few nights. It was as awesome as could be expected, especially since I was a towering 6'2" in the white stripper platform boots I was sporting. I looked like a stag party entertainer, and it was just fine by me. I included a picture of the exact replicas (from a fancy catalog called Flirt which we used to get at the UCB box office, since prior to it being a comedy theater it had been a filthy strip joint). I'd have one posted of me in the actual boots but, I was so tall in them that I didn't fit into the shot, it was either waist down or waist up. Those who saw it in action will have it scarred into their brains forever more, of that I am sure.

More later.

State Farm.

Here's a new video I was in, written by & starring my old pal Drew Condell, and produced by my pals at Drink At Work. Make sure and vote "funny" at the end!

Independent Subway.

So, there's that.



Thanks as always to the fantastic, riveting and always gut-wrenching PostSecret. Buy their books.

Damp.

The Daft Punk concert here in NYC involved a text message from my pal Kloke stating: "Let's concoct a rum-soaked scheme". It may well be the best text message I ever got. Enjoy this cool widget to check what's up with their upcoming album release. You must supply your own rum, however.

Mistakes Were Made.

Just a quick note, if you meant to get Chromeo tickets and didn't you suck. The show is sold out now and it's their only US performance for a while, so...allow me to electronically taunt you with this link to the always happening Brooklyn Vegan.

Unless you happen to live in the UK or Canada, you snoozed and you lose-ed. I'm mostly sorry you won't be there in person to see myself and 4 close friends dressed up as none other than the Spice Girls. Oh yes, indeed. It's ON.

My Girl Is Callin' Me A Liar.

Oh there are plans afoot for the Halloween week, mon amis. And they involve my fellow Columbia Graduate School pals. Yes, that's right, the funky funky Montreal meets NYC sounds of CHROMEO. I described them as such in a recent email: ...if you can imagine Keith Sweat had sex with Hall & Oates and invited Morris Day & The Time to come join, you'll get an idea of the musical stylings they provide.

Seriously, do yourself a fucking favor. Check out their upcoming super fun gig. Myself and a passel of my super dope accomplices will be there dancing, groping and talkin' all raw. I mean, I'm not inviting YOU per se- but you're more than welcome to come stare at us from across the venue and wish you were you know, like, cool enough to have been invited and all. Ain't no thang.

Click here for info and the like. Here's the fine print:

NY Mag Sponsors:




Ok, bye now.

Rocking Massive.

New obsession, thanks to late night Sundance Channel viewing, has been decreed. It's Shameless, a British comedy-drama series that's in its 5th season. If only I had a DVD player capable of decoding regions (or the true graso of what the fuck that even means) I'd be thrilled to but all the prior DVDs but as it is, I shall have to suffer thru watching the early episodes bit by bit here. What's so alluring about the show to me is, that it's not escapism in any way- it documents estate life in Manchester- (sort of like being in the projects in Bensonhurst, if I'm to give my perhaps flawed idea of the class and the specific accent particular region). It's filmed in a really cool style, and the laughs in it are not kooky cut ups ala My Name Is Earl. The things that take place on the show and in the episodes are things that break your heart and make you laugh-like having a drunk parent that can't hold down a job and gets dropped off at your apartment by the cops after passing out and pissing his pants on a regular basis. OK, I find that funny, get fucked if you don't.

If you get a chance, check it out. It's something really special. Kind of reminds me of my briefly held, Summer of 1995 obsession with Neighbours and EastEnders, but with humor allowed in.

On that note, can someone with British citizenship marry me already? I mean, really.

Come On And Meet Me At The Rally.

Porter sent me this video and I about died of joy. Please do yourself the service of watching it this very instant.

The Big(gest) Break Up.

This past week, I had to leave one of the best relationships of my life. And I'm none too pleased about it. There was nothing I could do about it, nothing that could save it. I am, for lack of a better term, heartbroken.

Every day, there are moments of sheer despair where I realize- Oh my god. It's really, truly over. Lines were crossed, and there's no going back when that happens.

It's terrifying, not having the safety & security that I did before, but everything happens for a reason, and I just have to be open to that. I know this will get easier and the pain will pass...but until then, it sucks.

Let me say once and for all and on the record: I love you, Smoking. I will always love you. And I'm so sorry things had to end this way. But you and I were just not meant to be anymore. So go. Go forth and make all those cups of coffee, and debacherous drunken dance nights, and hungover awkward mornings with new, semi-nude friends all so much more vibrant. Just, no- don't say anything, just go.

Here's to a good run, kid.

The Kissing Booth- Tomorrow Nite!

What, you ask, is THE KISSING BOOTH? Why, it's a monthly comedy showcase hosted by duo Brandy & Sara. Stand ups, sketch, songs, and more from NYC's premiere performers, always with a spectacularly drunken finale. If you can't make the show, drop in for the FREE late nite dance party that begins directly after- cheap booze all nite long. Pucker Up For Comedy!


The Kissing Booth presents: TALENT UNLIMITED!

September 29th, 2007
10:30 pm - $5 cover
Doors open at 10pm- come early and get your drink on pre-show!

The Tank
279 Church Street between Franklin and White

$3 Bud & Bud Lite All Nite Long!


As always, the kick ass dance party begins right when the show ends, SO STICK AROUND!


This month's THE KISSING BOOTH features guest hosts Amy Eckerson & Monica Delmonico from TALENT UNLIMITED casting! That's right, Brandy & Sara are taking some time off, but Amy & Monica are here to showcase some of theit newest talent finds from NYC, such as:

Emlyn Morinelli!

Sue Ball!

Videos from Aubrey Tennant!

Rob Lathan!

Sean Patton!



PLUS! A heart-warming, grave-defying visit from Bindi & Steve Irwin, a seminar from Kristi, Coco's Southern California Region #63 waitstaff service trainer, tech wizardry from our 3X Dope head writer MATT SEARS, photos of you looking all hot and shit taken by that firecracker Anya Garrett (www.anyagarrett.com), and lots of hi-jinx and capers and cutups!

SEE YOU THERE! BRING YOUR DRUNK PALS!

One Vagical Night.

My dear friends Party Central USA were nice enough to ask me to participate in their newest video, and how could I say no? Check it out, and check them out as well at their new monthly show, SKETCHUBATOR, or online here. This was edited and shot by the fun-tastic Oren Brimer, by the by.

Similarities.

If you missed out on Oren Brimer's pool party this weekend, then console yourself with the knowledge that you missed me clad only in a RIDICULOUS bathing suit meant for a flat-chested Polish runway model, splashing around like a marmoset hopped up on Red Dye #5 gleaned from the Capri Sun pouch of a kid who hurled it off the Safari Rail ride into my greedy little paws.

Shame on you.

BUT! Here's your chance to re-live the glory days! Simply imbibe an entire case of Boone's Farm Pina Colada Delight Wine (pref. room temperature), then watch the above clip. It's sure to bring a tear to the eye of any who were forced to be groped, slobbered on, or who participated in a chicken fight they wanted no part of but were recruited into by the force of my muscular legs wrapped firmly about their cheeks (Eric Andre, I'm talking to you).

COME ON AND GET MORTIFIED- This Wednesday Sept. 26th!

Hailed a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek and celebrated by the likes of This American Life, The Today Show, The Onion AV Club, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Daily Candy, and more, Mortified is a comic excavation of teen angst artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories, and more) as shared by their original authors before total strangers. As the largest and longest-running project of its kind, our grassroots comedy collective has spent years sifting through hundreds of otherwise forgotten notebooks on a mission to celebrate the extraordinary lives of ordinary people.

WHEN: Wednesday, Sept. 26th, 2007 @ 7 PM
WHERE: Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction, 34 Ave. A b/t 3rd & 4th Streets
TICKETS: $10 pre-sale, $12 at the door - PRE-SALE IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED AS WE WILL SELL OUT!


CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS!

Sorry about when I made out with you. All of you.

There was a pool party. There was a hungover brunch. And there was magic in all the land!!!

Also the Comedy Central pilot shoot went great, thanks. My cat finally came out from under the bed after cowering there for the full 12 hours that the shoot took. I am still cowering, however. I frighten easily, what can I say? That's all for now, because I am a lazy turd.

I am in love with you.

Watched a great "love note to New York" movie tonight- one of my fave types of films. It was called After Hours, and Martin Scorsese directed it. I remember so clearly when this came out in theaters, I was too little to go and it was considered very naughty. "Racy" is the word, I guess.

Check it out sometime. You may really love it, too. Plus, Teri Garr AND Catherine O' Hara are in it. Two comedy heroines of mine, in the same film, delightful. Griffin Dunne is very hot, BTW.