Friday, February 29, 2008

Come On, Get Happy (dipshit).

In an effort to balance my hectic life I have decided it is now time for me to re-read a book I grabbed a few years back. It's called The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People, by David Niven and I recall really enjoying it when I read it before. As I read each entry I think I will try to reflect on it in my blog, albeit probably in a really angry, mean way. I'm always true to myself, after all. THAT is a constant.

Today's entry was: Your Life Has Purpose & Meaning. Which, after initially reading, I scrawled simply, "What is my purpose?" I kind of want to pinch myself really hard right now, hard enough to leave bruise marks. And I'd also kind of like to know the answer. I know this, as of a few weeks ago it stopped being "to get really drunk and act like a jerk-face to the amusement of whoever happened to be close enough to hear my yammering".


What about you, dear readers? Do you know your purpose? Do tell.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Ain't Love A Kick?


My pal Alty featured a link to this heart-warming, delightful article on her blog and I had to share. Sometimes I am sad that I haven't met the right person to be my husband yet...and then I read this, and darned if it didn't fill me with hope. So for all you love birds out there, enjoy!

MOUNT CLEMENS, Michigan (AP)
-- A man who killed and dismembered his wife was sentenced Thursday to serve at least 50 years behind bars by a judge who called his actions "demonic."

Stephen Grant choked his wife, Tara, to death, then cut up her corpse in a machine shop. After the killing, he tearfully told reporters he wasn't involved in her disappearance.

"Stephen Grant is evil personified," Prosecutor Eric Smith said.

Grant, on the advice of his lawyer, did not speak during the sentencing.

A jury found him guilty in December of second-degree murder. Prosecutors had sought a first-degree murder conviction, but the jury could not unanimously agree that Grant's actions were premeditated.

The defense was seeking a sentence of 15 to 25 years. But Macomb County Circuit Judge Diane Druzinski agreed with the prosecution recommendation of a sentence of 50 to 80 years for the killing.

The judge called Grant's actions "demonic, manipulative, barbaric and dishonest." Grant also received six to 10 years for mutilating the body, to run concurrently with the longer sentence.

Grant, 38, showed little emotion during the hearing, although he looked troubled as Alicia Standerfer, Tara Grant's sister, described how the couple's two young children are struggling with the loss of their mother at the hands of their father.

"He's so much of a coward, he doesn't even look me in the eye in the courtroom," Standerfer said afterward.

Grant contacted the Macomb County sheriff's department on February 14, 2007, and said he had not seen his 34-year-old wife, an operations manager for a large construction firm, since they argued February 9 about her frequent business trips overseas.

On March 2, after allowing deputies with a search warrant inside his home, Grant borrowed a friend's pickup truck and drove away. The deputies found Tara Grant's torso in a container in the garage.

Authorities picked up Grant's trail by tracking cell phone calls that led them to Wilderness State Park, more than 200 miles north. He was found hiding under a tree and wearing only a shirt, slacks and socks in 14-degree weather.

During the trial, a jury heard a graphic, three-hour recorded confession Grant gave while being treated for frostbite and hypothermia at a hospital. They also heard testimony from the Grants' nanny, who said she had sex with Grant the night before he strangled his wife.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. (except in my blog so suck it)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Songs What I Forgot: You Give Good Love, Whitney Houston.



This song is the jam. This song, which I have had on repeat since roughly 2:30 PM or so today, makes me want to leave my desk right now, report directly to a happy hour, shotgun 3-5 glasses of a reasonably priced pinot noir, and then slow dance up close and personal like with someone, maybe let's say, someone I work with who may or may not have a girlfriend. Our actions together could include a ratty old b&w photo booth in the, oh I don't know, the Lakeside Lounge and the results would ensure that by week's end, he DEFINITELY would not have a girlfriend. This is not to say he'd become my boyfriend. I'd be too hungover to listen to him whining about how he thought he may have made a mistake to offer any sympathy or even my couch since his ass was kicked out of their Park Slope co-op- because no one and I repeat, NO ONE is moving into the Barber household until he does so by being legally married to my ass. No thunks.

Instead I'd fix a glare on him, blow a plume of smoke in his face and say "What do you want me to do about it, cupcake?" in a sort of raspy, exhausted Faye Dunaway voice- one that sounded like a come-on and a death threat at once, coated in honey and edged with a razor-y rasp. And that would be that.

Thanks Whitney, and thank you alcohol. You make things work out so nicely.

This was rediscovered as a direct result of my friend Wendy Ho and a delightful tribute to her from a sexy, sassy gal named Jazzmun. I am a new forever fan and plan to drop in to Club Cobra on my next California sojurn. Fierce, fabulous and oh, so Whitney-riffic- check out that link for a rendition to remember.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Songs What I Forgot: Bad Boy, Miami Sound Machine



Wow. I mean, WOW.

My roommate Porter and I were discussing Miami Sound Machine the other night, do not ask me why (I was late for a wedding shower but could not resist the dissection of their first hit CD Primitive Love, which my Dad owned). And we both recalled this song gem with delight and fondness. It would be an understatement to say I absolutely used to LOVE this song. Surely, it was used in every mixed boys & girls dance class for the recital circa 1984, no? Because it sure as hell was in mine. "Bad" being the operative term.

Enjoy the alternate cast of "CATS", or, if the very suggestion of human adults clad in spandex and fake fur would cause you to have nightmares for the remainder of your earthly life, click here for an alternate take of the video (because one is NEVER enough when it comes to Gloria Estafan, people. GET IT RIGHT). Up to you.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!



An oldie but, a goodie!

Enjoy your day.

Also I am too lazy/busy/sick to write, sorry.

xoxoxo,

Me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Honey's Bunnies @ The Kissing Booth [Uber NSFW]



Thanks to all our fella comedian friends who came out for this and horrified/delighted us.

Enjoy!

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Kissing Booth: TONIGHT!

The Kissing Booth presents: The Kissing Booth After, After-Dark

Friday, January 25th, 2008

THE TANK
279 Church Street between Franklin and White
Doors at 11:30pm


**Admission this month is FREE!
**Basement Dance Party to follow show with $3 Beers 'Til Dawn
**PLUS: FREE Shot if you arrive dressed in pajamas!


This month your hosts Brandy & Sara bring you an homage to Hugh Hefner's classic program Playboy After Dark, Kissing Booth style. Come be part of a hip, swinging bachelor-ette party, the kind of bash where guests drop in to chat, while cool people lounge in their swanky cocktail clothes exchanging bright ideas and being all jive. Show up in your own pajamas and you get a free shot. Join us for what is sure to be a night of smoking jackets, cognac, and suave, sophisticated sexism. And look who's going to drop by to mix and mingle:

JOHN F. O'DONNELL (host of Kingdom of Heaven, Comedy Central's Fresh Faces of Comedy)

GREG JOHNSON (host of the Greg Johnson & Larry Murphy Show)

Videos from GORDON & LUBELL ( www.Stashwax.com)

PLUS: Candy, dancing, men in bunny ears, shamelessness, and pictures of you looking all sizzling hot taken by our incredibly talented co-hort Nathan Kloke ( www.nathankloke.com ). And maybe, just maybe, a real live Kissing Booth!

Cost: FREE!

Official Site: http://www.myspace.com/thekissingboothnyc

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dance Dance Party Party!!

Dance Dance Party Party (DDPP) is more than a dance party, it's a mother-effin' revolution! As seen in the pages of Time Out NY and Bust Magazine, this weekly NYC all-female jam fest something that I think you should check out very soon. And look here...

Laura House from Bust Magazine says:

Now in its second year in N.Y.C., DDPP has recently cropped up in Chicago and L.A. as well. No matter where the party starts the format is the same. It's held in a dance studio (everyone throws in $6-$8 for rental costs), lights are dimmed, and a 90-minute ipod set of stellar jams is cranked. A light machine spins in the corner as women spin through the room in their own blissful orbits, free from greasy guys leering or hipster chicks throwing 'tude. 'It feels weird at first, [co-organizer Glennis] McMurray says, 'but it's also awesome because you're with a bunch of other women having a bonding experience.' There is no formal instruction at DDPP, but there can be moments of what McMurray calls 'spontaneous choreography,' when participants can't resist restructuring famous steps like the zombie moves from 'Thriller,' or the 'Maniac' routine from Flashdance. 'The best part,' says McMurray, 'is when people are shy [at first] and then they get started and realize this really is an environment where no one is going to stare or judge.'"

To learn more about DDPP NY and our other locations visit www.dancedancepartyparty.com!

Cost: $6-$8

Official Site: http://www.dancedancepartyparty.com

My pals Glennis and Marcy are at the helm of this and I wanted to help spread the word- and so should you! Tell other lady pals to come on out and shake a tailfeather at DDPP. It just sounds like magical fun, now doesn't it?!?

Monday, January 21, 2008

I have been very sick.



And so I have been on the couch, coughing up significant chunks of lung and drinking lots and lots and lots of broth. So much so, that I never want to have a bowl of soup, ever again. Even though laughing makes me have a hacking fit that ends in me wheezing uncontrollably for breath, I had to watch various episodes of this show, and I cannot stop howling with laughter at this fine commercial in general.

Do yourself the favor of checking Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job out. Life-changing.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Songs What I Forgot: Debut Edition!



OK, so this came out when I was 14 and this, combined with a lot of "Need You Tonight" by INXS and my first sighting of a very young, very beautiful Keanu Reeves having fumbling sex in a sleeping bag in the terrifying cornerstone of stark 1980's teen angst films River's Edge was way too much for me to handle. HUMP OVERLOAD!!! I used to listen to this song a lot, so much in fact that I began to hate it and the CD it was off of. Which if I recall, was an early entry into my already budding collection that boasted the Eurythmics and Elvis Costello and the Attractions (OK that one may have been my Dad's but I liked to pretend it was mine).

Recently, I was out getting ridiculously drunk due to the open bar I was presented with starting at 5 PM during a producing showcase I attended with my frequent troublemaker and co-producer Alty. Sadly we decided we "needed" a nightcap (OK again, just me) and went to the nearby Slainte, where this song came on and I was pleasantly reminded of it being the jam and all. This version, with the fantastic MC Lyte guesting, is the sickest. Enjoy.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Check out my bird.


So much to say and so bad at making the effort to do so. Sheesh. Perhaps this classy album cover can sum it up for me.

Nope, nope. Cancel that.

Hope everyone's New Year 2008 is going swimmingly. I myself have gone on a money diet and re-quit smoking. My cat had to have an enema and I am attempting to not be so negative and mean all the time.

Maybe I will write more later. Maybe I will not. OK, I will, we all know I totally will. Guys, don't go throwing yourself off a bridge in despair.

One thing that I've been meaning to do it to take this blog apart, removing a slew of old posts that no longer need to be accessible to the public eye. As I'm doing this month by month, scanning the archives, I promise to try and be better about frequent updates. And wave goodbye to anything where you can make anything other than a vague ID on me, because the trail of electronic litter is coming to a much needed end. Know that.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Favorite Xmas.

Enjoy! Best of the holidays to you and yours.



With: Sara Jo Allocco, Brandy Barber, Jay Bois, Katina Corrao, Peter Kassnove, Aaron Kheifets, Livia Scott, Matt Sears, and Baron Vaughn

Directed by Nathan Kloke & Brandy Barber

www.myspace.com/thekissingboothnyc

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Wearing silk suits tryin' not to sweat.

Here's what's up with me.

1) This playlist, over and over today:
  • Animal Collective "Who Could Win a Rabbit?"
  • Beenie Man "Dude (Panjabi Hit Squad Remix)"
  • Mavado "Weh Dem A Do"
  • The White Stripes "Hello Operator"
  • Tego Calderón "El Abayarde"
  • Dr Dog "Adeline"
  • Cat Power "Lived In Bars"
  • Wolfman "For Lovers"
  • The Stills "Still In Love Song"
  • The Rapture "House Of Jealous Lovers"
  • Gorillaz "Clint Eastwood (Ed Case Remix)"
  • Outkast "Bombs Over Baghdad"
  • Roll Deep "Heartache"
  • ARE Weapons "Don't Be Scared"
  • Dead Prez "Hell Yeah"
  • Cam'ron "Killa Cam"
  • Rick Ross "Hustlin'"
  • Young Jeezy "My Hood"
  • Swizz Beatz "It's Me Bitches"
  • Terror Squad "Take You Home"
  • R Kelly f. Akon & Sean Paul "Slow Wine (Remix)"
  • Akon "I Can't Wait"
  • NORE "Oye Mi Canto"
  • Damian Marley "Welcome to Jamrock"
  • Ladyhawk "My Old Jacknife"
  • Bill Callahan "Sycamore"
  • Lavender Diamond "You Broke My Heart"
  • The Strokes "Hard To Explain"
  • The Roots "Thought At Work (Original Version)"
  • Kanye West "Celebration"
2) Coveting and slobbering and plotting to obtain:


















These are limited edition Yo! MTV Raps/Doug E. Fresh Pumas. The sickest. They have MC Shan and Big Daddy Kane ones, too. As Lianne Stokes would say, "That's sexual".

3) Lots and lots or Diet Dr. Pepper.

Peace be with you, bitches. More later.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Daddy's Girl.



You can say all the fucked up nasty things you want about Ms. Amy Winehouse. She's a terror and I am frankly glad of the fact that she is out there making trouble for all who cross her path. She has a great sound that's a much more slick and tender homage to the big bad-ass ladies of Motown past than the mass produced pop tripe we get over here in the States. Although I love me some Christina Aguilera and hope someday to do some shots with her and dance on a cocktail round or two, our little X-tina wishes she was this raw, fun, and savage all in one. So, since I'm asking so very nicely, could everyone fucking shut up and stop shit-talking her? Because sometimes the reason something blows up is because it's GENUINELY GOOD. * Just because the masses have sniffed her out doesn't diminish the fact that she's a unique and important and awesome. Guess what? Nirvana was huge, too, whether they liked it or not.

And by the way, I dedicate this song to all the idiots I was forced to endure while drinking at the Whiskey this past Monday night with the Get Fresh Crew '07- Allocco, Manzella, Kloke and the like (and later, Von Poppelen & Hughes and Mister Jack Daniels, natch).


*Coldplay not included. Sorry, Allocco.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

THE KISSING BOOTH THIS SATURDAY NITE!!!


THE KISSING BOOTH is a monthly comedy showcase hosted by duo Brandy & Sara. Stand ups, sketch, songs, and more from NYC's premiere performers, always with a spectacularly drunken finale. If you can't make the show, drop in for the FREE late nite dance party that begins directly after- cheap booze all nite long. Pucker Up For Comedy!


WE'RE BACK, FOOLS!!!

The Kissing Booth presents: HAPPY THUNKS-GIVING!!!

Nov. 10th, 2007
THE TANK
279 Church Street between Franklin and White
Doors and $3 beers at 10 pm
Show at 10:30 SHARP
Tickets $5 (cheap!)
FREE Basement Dance Party to follow with $3 Beers 'Til Dawn

After a year full of insanity, Brandy and Sara Jo are more than ready to reflect on the bounty of glad tidings bestowed upon them by giving obnoxious, drunken "THUNKS". And they've asked some smokin' hot comedy types to come out and help! Don't let the turkeys get you down, come out and savor the pumpkin pie flavor of:

ADAM WADE!

JOSELYN HUGHES!

CASSIDY HENEHAN!

JENNY RUBIN!

SHAYNA FERM!

DAN ALLEN!

...and videos from ANDREW CONDELL & DRINK AT WORK!

PLUS:
a holiday heart warming lesson will be taught to Brandy and Sara by the 718 Cold Krumpin' Crew, candy, dancing, shamelessness, pictures of you looking all sizzling hot taken by our incredibly talented co-hort Nathan Kloke (www.nathankloke.com), and surely, A KRUMP OFF WILL ENSUE!

If you haven't been at a Booth show for a while, this is NOT TO BE MISSED. SEE YOU THERE! BRING YOUR DRUNK DANCIN' PALS!

It's Coming Up, Like Paul McCartney & Wings.



FIRST THINGS FIRST: So I have been the world's worst blog-nerd as of late. I took some time off- say, two months or so- and did all kinds of things and was incredibly poor at being consistent in my updates. I am very sorry. What can I say, a lot was going down.

But now, I am back. And we are going to "do it up right, girl", "all NIGHT, girl"! I am going to "come correct" and it will be "all silky silky now". What? Ewwwww.

So, one of the things I got up to recently was getting to see one of my fave music type ladies live. I got my paws on a pair of prime tickets to see M.I.A. at the newly opened Terminal 5 and it was insane. Hands down one of the best shows I have ever been to. Such a great performer, so full of energy and her music combined with the cavernous space- which I hear used to be an airplane hangar- was intense. No one who went to this concert did not dance- NO ONE. M.I.A. and her music were infectious, not to mention her dope moves onstage (or those of her slinky back up dancer lady clad in hologram spandex to boot!). The video installations were intriguing and elicited so many cheers from the crowd I feel like they could have had their own show. All in all, one of the best live music gigs you could have been at and, danced on the damn stage at. And the little Ms. herself, after inviting half the crowd up there, managed to run them about and command them even though most of them were towering over her.

Man, I wish I hadn't gotten so drunk because I'd have grabbed a shirt. Ah, well. Next time.

All pix courtesy of a FLICKR search- thunks and thunks.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Halloween Part 1: Pucker Up.





There are many, many parts, kind of like R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet. More to follow. I am lazy and never around during the day to post anymore. So busy!

Check out the dress, bought directly from London and in full effect! I got to live my dream of being Geri Halliwell for a few nights. It was as awesome as could be expected, especially since I was a towering 6'2" in the white stripper platform boots I was sporting. I looked like a stag party entertainer, and it was just fine by me. I included a picture of the exact replicas (from a fancy catalog called Flirt which we used to get at the UCB box office, since prior to it being a comedy theater it had been a filthy strip joint). I'd have one posted of me in the actual boots but, I was so tall in them that I didn't fit into the shot, it was either waist down or waist up. Those who saw it in action will have it scarred into their brains forever more, of that I am sure.

More later.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

State Farm.



Here's a new video I was in, written by & starring my old pal Drew Condell, and produced by my pals at Drink At Work. Make sure and vote "funny" at the end!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Independent Subway.


So, there's that.



Thanks as always to the fantastic, riveting and always gut-wrenching PostSecret. Buy their books.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Damp.



The Daft Punk concert here in NYC involved a text message from my pal Kloke stating: "Let's concoct a rum-soaked scheme". It may well be the best text message I ever got. Enjoy this cool widget to check what's up with their upcoming album release. You must supply your own rum, however.