Pinch, Pinch, Pinch.

Becky's Flag Day Pageant was just the thing. Hilarious performers and great hosting from Ms. Yamamoto and the dulcet toned Tony Carnevale. Featured here: Michael Cyril Crieghton was the Boy Scout from Hell, Desiree Burch & Lang Fisher are Abe Lincoln and Dolly Madison at the Slavery Price Is Right!; Jack Kukoda answers all and any American Flag Trivia Questions you may (or may not) have. Later we supped at the delicious Sweetwater and then, somehow staggered to the train with Collins, Kukoda and Geoff & Chris from Elephant Larry in tow. (See creepy flourescent L train photos)

Jack and I then decided to go to Winnie's Bar (for those not in the know, it's a fave karaoke dive where you may on any given night see a Mexican dwarf or a Chinese mafia guy in an eye patch or my drunk ass trying to drink a cup of golf pencils while yelling at everyone about how love is a sham). There, at Jack's request, I sang "Alone" by Heart while he stood nearby, giving an enthusiastic thumbs up. Jack told me that some guys were trying to hit on me but I was too angry to be bothered with pesky menfolks. Later I sang "Hold The Line" but usually that's a Brandy & Sara duet and I was sad she wasn't there to help make fun of the yachting video like we always do. Also I had two Mai Tais too many and reflected again on what an asshole I was on Valentine's Day and vowed never, ever to behave in such an awful manner. Who's with me? Anyone? No? I guess I don't blame you.

Don't Tear Your Tortellini.

Instead why not come out and see the new version of Rich Zeroth's "Swollen Head" tonight at the Tank? Click on the picutre for more details. Then right after you could go to Brooklyn and check out...

Yeah, why not? I'm worth it. BONUS: I will indeed be wearing a flag bikini top. For reals, though.

Two Too Much!

flagdayflyer
Originally uploaded by Brandy For Sale..

After our fun appearances in Rich Zeroth's "Swollen Head" (directed & produced by the fantastic Jon Friedman) at 7:30 pm tomorrow, Sara and I will head out to Williamsburg to Galapgos to appear in the newest installment of classy comedianne Becky Yamamoto's "Yamaholiday" series.

Expect to be offended by our lack of respect for your country. I said YOURS.

She Was An American Girl.

Spent the Saturday after the show debut shooting our next karaoke opus. Starring the delightful Jerry Miller as a patriotic superhero of sorts and featuring the lovely Becky Yamamoto as his lady love, it was a hoot to create and also, a compelling study into the human pshyche. Highlights included Sara and I cussing out a star-struck 13 year old piece of tourist garbage after he insisted on stepping repeatedly in our frame to take a camera phone picture of Jerry. I think I told him to get his scrawny midwest ass out of the shot. Sara screamed that she hoped his plane home would go down. I still don't know what the big deal was- so what, Jerry was in a unitard? I guess they don't get a lot of actors clearly dressed up because they're filming a bit you're not a part of out in Minden, MI do they Ralph Jr.?!? Now take your sorry ass over to the Billabong store onb 42nd & Broadway and have that shriveled apple-head doll looking thing you call a "mother" shove her fake-nail bedecked paw into that there Pep Boys promotional fanny pack of hers and yank out some of Daddy's Oxycontin money so's you can get a nice new sweatshirt for to wear to church. G'won, git!

The shoot concluded at sunset on the Brooklyn Bridge, and I was struck with some form of patriotism. Or maybe just the need for an ultimate cheer. Either way.

We headed out to a fancy Indian feast in the East Village, where Sara and I were lured with free wine. Free wine, I tell you! It was grand. Thanks to our fantastic cast. If only the crew weren't such a pair of spiteful trolls.

Delicious Lemon Mousse With White Chocolate: The Kissing Booth Debut, Part II.

The fantastique Adira Amram, sparkling shooting star.
Lauren, TKB write staff member Matt and their adorable pal whose name I completely forgot because I am an asshole.
We did it! First snapshot post show.
"Barber stop dumping beers on yourself!"

The real star of the show: my godamnned hair.

"Nice dress. American Apparel?"

"Yes. Why ever do you ask?"

Nice Warm Melty Sandwich: The Kissing Booth Debut.

"Let the dream die, Sara- you weren't a child star."

The fantastic Michelle Collins discusses Britney's new "man-ny".
In his satin tights, fighting for our rights: It's Seth Herzog!
Our techie Irving, insists on us hitting our marks...during the show, unfortunately.

We used to date. Really. All of us.
Writer/performer John F. O'Donnell raises a toast.
Dan & Jeff, who wonders why there's no air conditioning.
Coco gives Allocco the finger and steals her tap shoes. Ok, not really.

Your faithful, drunk Kissing Booth hosts, Sara & Brandy.

The Kissing Booth is at 9:30 pm TONIGHT!!! (NOT at 8)

PLEASE NOTE: THE SHOW IS AT 9:30 pm THIS FINE EVENING!

I know it originally was supposed to be at 8 but...long story. We're so sorry for the mix up.

AGAIN- 9:30!!!!

Loving you.

"Tell It To Your Mom, Dude."- Jerry Miller

Too tired to write, just got back from waitressing. Inhaled 1/2 a philly cheese steak. Look here. Pictures from a fortnight ago. Wait, is that even accurate? Fuck off. I did some shows then I went to Pianos and watched drunks sing too cool for school ironic songs. Later I ate a Gray's Papaya hot dog and was criticized heavily by John F. O'Donnell for "telling a story like a girl". I don't know what that even means, but I know he's a half wit for saying it. Can it, Pee Wee!
















They could have danced all night. BETWEEN THE SHEETS! What? Ewww. Allocco with the lovely (and married) Rob Gorden of The Rob & Mark Show.



















Insert creepy provacative caption about my dumbass posing with a plastic panther statue here.





















O'Donnell tears up "Glory Days" to the delight of all onlookers at Pianos...






















...with the exception of one Ms. Brooke Van Poppelen, who is nary a wit amused. Gong!





















Brooke pleads with us to try try try to understand: he's a magic man, Heart!

Two Shows, 2 Hype.

I am in the midst of having a slight breakdown. Do come and see the results!

Sara & Brandy in TWO TWO TWO shows TONIGHT!

Show The First:






Pete's Monday Night Stand Up (formerly The After School Comedy Special)
hosted by Jen Dzuira
with Mad Libs & Candy! And no cover!

Pete's Candy Store
7:30 pm
709 Lorimer Street - Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Free!

Show The Second:






















Drink At Work Comedy Show

Siberia Bar
8:00 pm
40th & 9th (look for the black door under the red light)
Free!

The "P" Is For Perfection.

Someone can't wait for more dancing and hi-jinx and red wine and whiskies tonight. So much so, that they have a fancy new t-shirt dress they'll be wearing out and about. Maybe with a bra. I SAID MAYBE.

North Sixth Street.

This goes without saying but, I love Brooklyn.

Book Of Radness!

I had the hiccups last night, which was a strange thing. They eventually went away, after I cut myself off from drinking for approximately 22 minutes. I showed willpower. I also hung out with many lovely lady friends and there were searches for after hours hi-jinx. I ended up at a club called- I kid you not- Climax. The worst part? I'd been there before for a friend of a friend's birthday party. Ick.

This was all caused by the weather. After rehearsal, we went out for a quick cocktail and instead strayed for extended Happy Hour, because a torrential rainstorm trapped us. Yeah. That's a valid excuse. There was $3 PBR and fancy Pigs in A Blanket to boot. Later, at the Bowery Poetry Club, I had more PBR. Then at the Slipper Room there was more PBR. And finally at Welcome to the Johnson's...yes. That's right. PBR. And I wondered why I got the hiccups.

Today is dedicated to men who claim they like funny women, but who make extra sure to date ones who aren't as funny as they are. Shut up your stupid talk hole with your "I like funny women" shit. No, you don't.

This entry was produced by the Dust Brothers.

When A Man Wears Chunky Silver Jewelry, Run Away. Fast.

Someone is very proud of her new necklace what has a minature gold boombox charm on it. West Coast Repra!

The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind. All good, though. Audition, new mag article, end of one job, embarking on a new one, a great set at a fun fucking show full of scamps...and finally, FINALLY, more than 5 hours of sleep.

Now I'm sitting in a cafe, sipping iced coffee in a caftan (no lies, Mrs. Roper) and getting ready to head off to reharsal and then, copius amounts of drinking. This is going to be one fucking great summer. Even better? "Rock & Roll Heart" by Eric Clapton just started playing. Life is sweet.