Sunday, January 04, 2009

Shine On, You Crazy Southern Diamond.

I was noodling around online, in an aimless lazy Sunday search for the names of Paula Deen's various dogs. On the TV as background noise was an episode of a Food Network show that detailed Paula helping what has to be the most boring couple I have EVER seen renovate their boring kitchen in their BOOOOOORRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG house. I mean, between the two of them they have the personality of a piece of discarded gum. Example: after the reveal, the mouse-wife raises her voice about one notch to semi-whisper, "Oh my GOSH...there's ducks!" Never were more profound words uttered.

So of course you can see why I was more intrigued by the idea of Paula's dogs...and my search led me to a post on TV Squad and, the ensuing comments. The winner of the bunch is posted here in its entirety.

After reading this comment, I have decided that I sincerely wish the terrorists would bomb Middle America next time. Specifically, the petty mean-spirited c*@t who wrote this tripe. She strikes me as the type of Southern shrew who chuckles over her family's slave owning past as if it's kind of a quaint affectation. I hope she chokes on her sweet tea, I really do.

Enjoy!


Recent Comments:

Food Network hopes Paula Deen will attract younger viewers {TV Squad}

Oct 15th 2006 3:48PM My husband and I have been Paula Deen fans since she first set foot on FoodNetwork...clear back to Gordon Elliott's show Door Knock Dinners where she was a guest chef. Unfortunately, her fame and fortune have taken away her down home southern belle class and replaced it with arrogance, flash, and risque behavior. My husband says if he were Michael, he'd put his foot down about some of the things she does on her show (i.e. licking a guest's mouth to get some food off his lips, hopping into bed with an engaged couple, rubbing a guest's hair and commenting on how hard it was and laughing her now-irritating laugh.

Paula, you had a huge fan-base before you started acting like a southern tart. If you ditch the trash talk and smutty behavior, you'll see we're still right there behind you loving you each step of the way. But your new ways grew old and tiresome very quickly. Get back to basics! You shine brighter than the biggest diamond!

Paula and Richard Pearman