YUCK.

Some people celebrate a BEYOND sold out show that they co-produced, and a visit from their boss from LA, with a tasteful glass of ginger ale and lots of banter. Then, they casually elect for an early night home in bed spent reading the classics and ruminating on their shared success.

Anne and I are not "some people". Them peoples is fags.

No, instead we staggered to Doc's after blowing it out at Mo's and had a little sticker party, and it was classy-like as all fuck. Later there was a Choco Taco and-yes- PIZZIES!!!!

MORTIFIED RETURNS- TONIGHT!

If you're thinking of coming, go buy tickets now- we're almost sold out as of this posting and will be for sure by showtime tonight!

***TIME OUT NEW YORK'S STARRED PICK FOR WED. Aug. 29th!***

Hailed a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek and celebrated by the likes of This American Life, The Today Show, The Onion AV Club, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Daily Candy, and more, Mortified is a comic excavation of teen angst artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories, and more) as shared by their original authors before total strangers. As the largest and longest-running project of its kind, our grassroots comedy collective has spent years sifting through hundreds of otherwise forgotten notebooks on a mission to celebrate the extraordinary lives of ordinary people. Mortified is co-produced in New York by Brandy Barber & Anne Altman.

WHEN: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 @ 7 PM
WHERE: Mo Pitkin's, 34 Ave A (www.mopitkins.com)
TICKETS: Pre-show $10, $12 at the door

WHO: Nichelle Stephens, Nate from The Apiary, MORTIFIED creator Dave Nadelberg, Jen Hyjack, Angel Yau, Law Tarello, Anne Altman, and Emlyn Morinelli!

Dig.

Someone named me is going to see a band called Camera Obscura this very Friday night! Have a listen and you'll see why. This is If Looks Could Kill from their fantastic album Let's Get Out Of This Country.

Two, too hype.

Things have been insane lately. And by "things" I mean, me. Just so busy, so crazed and all. Anyway, here's what I've been up to of late:

• I drove a car in New York City (and did well by the way, thanks, only yelled at by one traffic cop who then laughed with me at my automobile follies) all the while howling along to Nada Surf at top volume. Thanks, Zipcar! Thanks, Griffin Audio iTrip transmitter! And thanks, Jesus!
• I shot a fucking awesome video with the Party Central USA crew and I cannot WAIT to see it. Oren Brimer, super comedy man, was on the 1"s & 2's for it. That's the wrong term but I liked it, so suck it if you must.
• I brought my lovely bike back down from Poughkeepsie and got it tricked out with two baskets on the back and a bell that says "I Love My Bike". Amelia Bedelia is in full effect on the streets of Brooklyn!
• I got to have a lovely convo with my pal Brent Sullivan about politics, drama and makeout tactics, all while drooling at my latest hot-stuff conquest acrost the bar.
• I attended the FANTASTIC Beauty Bar Comedy Show's One Year Anniversary Shindig and wished the oh, so crushable Vince Averill a Happy 24th Birthday! Remember Vince, you have vertigo, but vertigo doesn't have you, right good buddy?!
• I crashed a party in a white stretch limo full of hot Broadway gayboys and shotgunned PBR with Wendy Ho and John F. O'Donnell. Too good to be true. BUT IT IS!!!!!!!
• I got to perform on stage with the inimiatable Sue Ball, eat ice cream with Matt McCarthy, be yelled at for heckling by Pete Holmes- all in one show! And then, I traipsed over to Doc Holiday's whereupon I acted the fool with the likes of Nathan Kloke, handsome troublemaker and partner in mischief esquire.
• I turned my head and missed the very drunken Ms. Sara Jo Allocco taking a spill ala Beyonce' as she marched into the Polish dive bar Lucy's to retrive Kloke and I after we ran away to do shots and ditched Doc's because some hefty Polish gal decided to start pole dancing and kept sitting on Matt Sears's head.
• I made fun of people to their faces during a very crowded brunch shift and still got tipped!
• I managed not to get wrecked after the latest Kissing Booth, where we all dressed in gross beach clothes and made fun of idiots who like beach volleyball. Sideout Sport this, FAG!
• I found a pair of dope limited edition Adidas and only paid 30 bucks for them on sale!
• I explained to my cat Nigel that if he jumped up on my head one more fucking time while I was sleeping he was going to the pound and then, cried for even joking like that!
• I bled on my roommate Porter's favorite towel due to my annoying old period! JUST KIDDING PORTER (or am I?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I developed a totally lame and predicatble, yet unsatiable, addiction to XXX Vitamin Water! $2 for a bottle of watered down Kool Aid?! What a rip!
  
• I read a shitload of books: Wasted, Possible Side Effects, Beauty Junkies, Not Buying It, Confessions of a Memory Eater, Love Monkey.
• I got some new albums from some old bands, Camera Obscura, Nada Surf, The Libertines.
• I went to a secret show on the boat Peking in South Street Seaport to see the AWESOME Fountains of Wayne with Matt Sears. There was an open bar hosted by Grey Goose and I had about 19 cocktails and then went to Long Island City to the karaoke portion of the comedy show hosted there by John F. O'Donnell and sang ELO and yelled at everyone about the musical genius of Jeff Lynne.
• And...I quit smoking for one full hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that's what's new in Brandyland. And you, kittens? How's tricks?

Do tell.

Tonight: The Rochelle Show!

Sara and I will be making damned braying jackasses of ourselves at the FANTASTIC Sue Ball's show- The Rochelle Show! PLEASE do yourself the favor of coming out and seeing how this all turns out (HINT: Insanity will ensue). Take a gander at this video of the lady Rochelle herself, and see what I mean. SEE YOU THERE SUCKAS!!!


THE ROCHELLE SHOW!
With
Pete Holmes
Kurt Braunohler
Matt McCarthy
Ann Carr
Brandy Barber and Sara Alloco
Katina Carrao
and
Bob Bell as "Carl the embittered son"

and a special guest appearance from Rochelle's Mother "a real piece of shit!"

TONIGHT!
FREEE!!!!!!
9:30pm!!!!
Mo Pitkin's (upstairs in the lounge)
34 Ave. A between 2nd and 3rd Sts.

"Bring your lover."

The Kissing Booth: BACK TO THE BEACH- Tommorow Nite!

The Kissing Booth presents: Back To The Beach



August 11th, 2007
10:30 pm - $5 cover
Doors open at 10pm- come early and get your drink on pre-show! The Tank
279 Church Street between Franklin and White

$3 Bud & Bud Lite All Nite Long!


As always, the kick ass dance party begins right when the show ends, SO STICK AROUND!


This month's installment of THE KISSING BOOTH finds hosts Brandy & Sara draining the dregs of the summer nectar cup...but wait! Who are those evil volleyball kids, and what can the girls do to save the Kissing Booth? Come and find out, and catch sizzling hot comedy from:

Rebecca Ciletti!

Neil Charles!

Videos from DRINK AT WORK!

Livia Scott!

Aubrey Tennant!

Michelle Buteau!

plus special guest appearances from Micheal Terry, Katina Corrao, Jay Bois, Adam Wade, Amanda Pettit, and Kevin Allison (MTV's The State)!

PLUS! Comedy tech wizardry from our 3X Dope head writer MATT SEARS, photos of you looking all hot and shit taken by that firecracker NATHAN KLOKE (www.nathankloke.com), and lots of hi-jinx and capers and cutups!

SEE YOU THERE!

You're Welcome.

Enjoy a song that, if you already know, and are a boy*, and are over 6" tall, we should marry. It's The Style Council's My Ever Changing Moods.

* Bonus Points if you: Have a British accent- Have Dark hair- Do not own Tevas.

VhI's Best Wig Ever.

Some snaps from the tail end of teaching upstate, and from my turn at Livia Scott's super fun show this past week. A hoot and a holler and all that. Katina and that wig were the highlight of that prior week for me, easily.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Bran-gret, Part II.

Thanks god, for making Matt Sears be my friend. Because he sends me links to YouTube vidoes like the following:




In high school. because it was a funny joke that all the girls on drill team were doing (seriously- there were 10 of us or so, you'd think we could have stepped it up a notch for dignity and gone right to Hot Dog on a Stick, but no), I got a job at the local Showbiz Pizza that had been bought out by Chuck E Cheese's, so we had both the R.A.E. crew, including Fats, AND a Chuck E.

I lasted roughly 3 weeks. Later, I used my bright blue mini plastic Chuck E. purse to cart my stash to various Rage Against The Machine & Soundgarden shows in Tijuana. Last I saw it, it got knocked out of my back pack while I was in the mosh pit during Alice in Chains at Lollapalooza '92. But not a day goes by that I don't miss it.