Thursday, October 09, 2008

Midrange Shopper

If I decide I want to purchase the now on sale Headless Animated Lifesize Headless Corpse Bride- and I'm not saying I'm for sure going to but, hypothetically- if I was to procure said beheaded newlywed, and position her directly at my desk at work, complete with her "...Animatronic decor accent" rolled up to top volume for 8 hours a day, Monday thru Friday, who's to stop me?

I mean really, who? Oh yeah?! YOU AND WHAT ARMY, JACKASS?!?

This product review below made my day, by the way. I have to say, it seems a bit harsh in spots. I mean, if your trachea was severed, there's gonna be some crushing so, let's not nitpick over vocal clarity, shall we?

Sometimes, I too seem very sad and would like "to maked you feel sorry" for me. Me and this robotic goth gal could have a few Ice brews and bitch it out about dudes in a big old way, huh? I mean...can she drink? Maybe I could pour it over the general neck wound? On second thought, better pass on those beers. Sorry, Morticia.


Eliza said...

Best Uses: Kitchen
THAT's what my kitchen has been missing. Of COURSE!
Good work, Barber.

Brandy For Sale. said...

I've made another life choice based off this, Skinner. I will use the description "Attractive design. Creepy. Durable." as my tagline in any and all online dating profiles I may choose to create from here on out.

Sans Pantaloons said...

You could also add "Can give head when asked."

Forgive me. I could not resist.

Brandy For Sale. said...

Yes, it had to be done. I salute you for your bravery!