And That's When They Made The Old Lady's Automatic Stair Lifter Chair EXPLODE!

From a recent MySpace comment I left for my friend, Brooke (who, sadly, witnessed the night I am referencing):

10/17/2006 11:50 AM

Sometimes, I realize I am much like a Gremlin (from the Chris Columbus/Joe Dante 1984 horror flick, "GREMLINS"). How?

1) You should not get me wet (with cheap beer).
2) You should not expose me to bright light (after I've had can after can of cheap beer and my makeup is smeared like a $10 mouth-fuck prostitute)
3) And the most important thing, the one thing you must never forget: no matter how much I cry, no matter how much I beg . . . never, never feed me cheap beers after midnight. On a Sunday. At Beauty Bar.

Especially if there is dancing.