Similarities.

If you missed out on Oren Brimer's pool party this weekend, then console yourself with the knowledge that you missed me clad only in a RIDICULOUS bathing suit meant for a flat-chested Polish runway model, splashing around like a marmoset hopped up on Red Dye #5 gleaned from the Capri Sun pouch of a kid who hurled it off the Safari Rail ride into my greedy little paws.

Shame on you.

BUT! Here's your chance to re-live the glory days! Simply imbibe an entire case of Boone's Farm Pina Colada Delight Wine (pref. room temperature), then watch the above clip. It's sure to bring a tear to the eye of any who were forced to be groped, slobbered on, or who participated in a chicken fight they wanted no part of but were recruited into by the force of my muscular legs wrapped firmly about their cheeks (Eric Andre, I'm talking to you).