Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Big(gest) Break Up.





This past week, I had to leave one of the best relationships of my life. And I'm none too pleased about it. There was nothing I could do about it, nothing that could save it. I am, for lack of a better term, heartbroken.

Every day, there are moments of sheer despair where I realize- Oh my god. It's really, truly over. Lines were crossed, and there's no going back when that happens.

It's terrifying, not having the safety & security that I did before, but everything happens for a reason, and I just have to be open to that. I know this will get easier and the pain will pass...but until then, it sucks.

Let me say once and for all and on the record: I love you, Smoking. I will always love you. And I'm so sorry things had to end this way. But you and I were just not meant to be anymore. So go. Go forth and make all those cups of coffee, and debacherous drunken dance nights, and hungover awkward mornings with new, semi-nude friends all so much more vibrant. Just, no- don't say anything, just go.

Here's to a good run, kid.

5 comments:

anne altman said...

oh barbs. i know, i know. it hurts SO SO SO SO SO SO bad. i had to give them up when i was eating them b/c smoking them took too long, and still, i couldn't get enough.

we can do this together!

jenny said...

Dude I am with you----Funny--I am going through the same thing---again--had just posted about it too --haha-just hope this time I can last longer than just 3 months--

xoox
http://jennyrubin.blogspot.com/

Brandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brandy said...

Thanks, Anne & Jenny, and everyone who's emailed me about this. It really means the world. I'll keep you posted. Here's to chomping on toothpicks...sigh.

Carolyn said...

Dude! I want to quit, too! My problem is I feel like I don't have a problem to begin with. Oy! At least you got a few good glamour shots in before it was all over.....