Sometimes, instead of doing something I claim I'd like to, I will do absolutely nothing. I used to think this was because I was self-destructive, and some sort of a misanthrope. Recently I have come to realize that this is caused by my heretofore unknown perfectionism.
You see, unless I can do something exactly right the first time, I don't want to do it AT ALL. I have never said that aloud, mind you. But I catch myself when confronted with a project, postponing indefinitely because I don't want to begin until I've done all the prep work, I don't like my pen, I'm not sure if I can set something up without a template...it's sad.
This is because I am a highly critical, awful person. No really. I am. I tend to be so hard on stuff, that I am terrified to get up and do anything unless it's absolutely perfect from conception. I am afraid to fail, as most of us are...but I'm afraid to fail at typing in that first word.
Next step: being OK with making the kind of fool out of myself that I would openly imitate to the amusement of my hateful yet charming friends.
