I'm not the only one who holds you, I never ever should've told you you're my only girl.

All day long, thru a savage hangover, I've been singing Toto's Georgy Porgy to myself. There are two reasons for this.

Reason the first: It is a great fucking song. That is the main reason.

The other reason? Because it makes me smile due to the simplicity with which it sums up those jackass kind of dudes who think they're slick lady killers. You know the type. The kind of guy who gets the details of you and the various other girls he sleeps with mixed up and asks how your Mom is and you say "Uhhh...my Mom's dead." The kind of swell fella who calls you "sweetie" a lot, not because he harbors any genuine emotion for you, but because he's trying to make sure not to call you the wrong name. He forgets the basic details of a conversation you had 24 hours prior because he's so busy trying to cover up the hickey he got from some other broad an hour before you got over to his place. You have to give it to these clowns- they're good for a laugh. They think they've got you fooled, but the whole nice guy routine can only go so far when you come over for dinner and espy another lady's (most often tacky) accessories half-assedly stashed just out of view. The good thing is, once you've dealt with one of these gents, you learn all the tricks they try to utilize. So, when some buffoon tries to pull them on you again- and trust me, they will- you get the pleasure of watching with detached bemusement as they put on a royal show. And I have to tell you all this- I do so love to watch the show.

So now you all get to look at Toto's delightful song, and maybe you, too, will sing it all day. And smirk.