Saturday, December 23, 2006

Knock It Off.

I am definitely going to gain at least 10 pounds on this trip home. I put on so much wieght last year when I was home for Christmas, due to the joint factors of me scarfing down so much California-only so much fast food (Jack In The Box, Rubio's, In N Out Burger)and because my parents are both amazing cooks. Add in all the holiday snacks lying around, a box of See's Candy, booze, and the fact that I was having (what I thought was) a long-distance relationship, and by the time I got back home to New York I looked like a fashionably-dressed walrus.

That happy weight- that you put on in relationships- that's the best and the worst. Best because you're content and comfortable. Worst when it inevitably ends, and you have to try and be at your prime for mate replacement purposes. Although, if it's a truly heartbreaking, life-ruining ending romantically, the pounds just seem to melt away. Take a look at me around March 2006 and check out my new svelte, miserable, hollow-eyed, soul-crushed look! Sassy!

Anyway, I am a wee bit concerned about this holiday weight. Not enough to cut it out and stop drinking so much soda and eating beef sticks and petit fours every 10 minutes, mind you. I mean, jesus, my Uncle sent us a giant beef brisket from the Salt Lick in Texas, and Terry, my Dad and hero, is grilling it up, so do you fools think I'm going to pass that shit up?! Hell, no. Especially not the chance to scarf down the leftover meat on some cushy white bread...which reminds me. I need to go and dig through my parents' refridgerator right about now.

I've just decided my folks' house is like Fat Camp. Except in reverse.

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