Monday, November 28, 2005

Uh-uh, it's ON.

From:
NAME REDACTED


To:
"Ms. Brandy Barber"


Subject:
Re: Ms. Brandy Barber has sent you an Evite Invitation


Date:
Nov 27, 2005 1:31 PM


brandy!
finally back in the city
can't wait to catch up
small question-- will your friend be at your party, my promising new boy fell spell under the guilt of his ex girlfriends jealousy of our budding relationship, so he wants sometime to " think it over and assuage his guilt"

oh well ya know those sensitive boys
I have a few small coals in the fire, but want to open up my possibilities
how are you ?

-XXX


I am in a snit. An absolute snit. The person who sent me this is beyond hot. And this person should not have to deal with this nonsense. Not at all. No way, no how.
What is this ex drama?! SERIOUSLY. I want you to know something. If you're an ex, and you have the NERVE to be "jealous" of your ex's potential new partner, why don't you get f'd in the a? I mean have you NO SHAME?!

I am not above being petty and jealous, as you're well aware if you've been so bored to tears that you've read this cry-for-help diatribe disguised as a "blog". Jealousy is natural, it's a human emotion, totally normal. HOWEVER: Do you think I'd even STOOP so low as to admit it out loud, especially to an ex?! Hell no! It's called "dignity"-
look it up. I mean, do you really think I'd ever let myself get caught out even feigning interest in the person my ex is making time with? And this bitch- that my friend sends me an email about- was dating some wuss who so can't let go of the fucking past-relationship melodrama that she RUINS A PERFECTLY DECENT NEW RELATIONSHIP for him?! And he LETS HER?! Christ on a bike does this gaytard leave his balls ather house when he goes out at night? What, do they still live in the same dorm?! That's not sensitive, it's just lame. Sensitive would be taking note of the feelings of people in your present,not some over-idealized past that clearly ended for a reason. Get over yourselves (cpoyright Aram Monisoff, 2005) I mean, I blame him as much as her fucking controlling, insecure ass but still...Jesus, how sad. It almost makes me feel so sorry for you, fucking whiny-ass freak ex-girl, whoever you are, that I don't want to choke you. Almost.

I have to say: I have had to deal with way too much of this bullshit lately, both personally and via my guy & girl friends. This email today, however, is the straw that broke the Brandy's back.

So here it is. If you used to date someone, and now you're "just friends", keep it that way, you jackass. I'm "just friends" with a lot of my exes and I am happy to tell you, when it comes to their new(er) relationships? I don't speak about it AT ALL unless asked to. And sometimes even then- I keep my harshest opinions to myself. I NEVER reference ANYTHING about our prior relationship to that new person other that that we were and are friends. And you can bet there is not one speck of photo evidence that we dated hanging out in the open anywhere in my house, because why dwell on what's gone?

Ex-girls (or as the case may be for my pals, guys): We don't want your "input", "involvement", "protection", meddling, or plain old manipulative insecurity clouding our good time with a gentleman/lady caller. And if you can't handle the fact that they've moved on, well then, beat it, you asshole. Because I will gladly kick your ass to the curb if you so much as cross your eyes at me or any of my friends.

Believe that.

4 comments:

2na said...

Amen....

April said...

did you grow 2 more feet as you wrote this? i have the feeling you grew with anger then deflated. you must fill me in. coffee is needed.

BrianneLee said...

Good tirade. I agree--have some pride. I would never, never admit that I'm interested after a breakup. See you Saturday at your party!!

Brandy For Sale. said...

Please pciture me singing along angrily to "Enough is Enough" by Barbara Streisand as I typed this. Allocco would of course provide the Donna Summer tracks in the post-mix.