The magical MORTIFIED! book tour ended up in Boston last night, and we sold out AND played right next door to J. Masics- that's right, DINOSAUR JR. was playing! How very appropo. I myself kept trying to decide which of the smoking hot 23 year old hipsters with alliances to music that was out when they were in cribs I was going to mount like a fucking hunting trophy. But in between imagining tall indie rock boys in sherpa-lined Levi's cord jackets prone & nude, I managed to drag my ass onstage and be a part of what was an awesome line up of performers for a sold out engagment of MORTIFIED! Boston, produced by the fab Giulia Rozzi with a guest appearacne from our fearless creator, Dave Nadelberg himself. There were lots of folks from the book there, as well as some first timers, so it was a grand mix of former (and in my case, current) nerds.
The show was at a venue called the Paradise Lounge, and they could not have been nicer. It was such a treat to get to leave New York for a day and go spread the (dorky) word onstage.
We got some GREAT press for the show- here's a link to a fun article that really captures what it's like to see MORTIFIED live from Boston's Weekly Dig. The article's writer, Shaula Clark, sums up my INSANE creepy diary:
Brandy Barber, diary
Backstory: Throughout high school, Barber wondered why she was soooo persecuted and misunderstood—which might have had something to do with her hijacking and wrecking friends’ cars, drenching wrongdoers’ houses in urine, and serving Ex-Lax cookies to unsuspecting peers, and otherwise raising hell. You’ll have to get your hands on a copy of the book for the entire jaw-dropping saga, but here are a few choice lines:
-December 18, 1988:
Sara and I stole Leslie’s car and toilet papered Nick’s house. We trashed it with toilet paper, garlic, vinegar, flour, rice, Woolite Rug Cleaner, coffee, honey, LaSeur peas, Vaseline, toothpicks in the keyhole of cars, lice spray, and her brother’s underwear with a love note. I found out Leslie spat on Dan’s trench coat like 50 times and Sara let me wear it without telling me. So I spat all over Leslie’s guitar and ruined her school picture with the Woolite.
-New Year’s Resolutions 1989:
1. Take dancing
2. Make love to: Mick Jagger, Keanu Reeves, Eric Stotlz, Christian Slater, Dave Gahan
3. Have illicit affair (as above)
4. Grow long nails
I will do at least 3 of these or GO BALD!!!
-February 22, 1989
Found out Max tried to kill himself with 40 nitroglycerin pills ... I feel so sad, I cried for half an hour. I can’t handle it. Note: Dan thinks I am self-centered. I wouldn’t mind lighting him on fire. Sara and I tortured Christianly Christian Meredith and cut out her picture and put it on Garret’s private parts in the Swim Team yearbook photo.
-April 3, 1989
Mr. Driscoll is mad because in the April Fool’s paper I published a joke article about Mr. Lents escaping from an asylum and we drew a swastika on his forehead like Manson and made a few Hitler references and now everyone’s having a bovine birthright (a cow).
There is so, so much more in the Mortified book; if you’ve read this far, you really need to pick up a copy. But honestly, there’s nothing quite like seeing this stuff live. DO AT LEAST ONE OF THESE OR GO BALD.