Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Rolltop Desk.

My Mom: I am looking at everything you're typing now.
Me: Quit pestering me!
My Mom: Get to work. Do your thing.
Me: You sound like some gross disco song. Can it, Sylvester.
My Mom: (oblivious to the sarcasm) As soon as I see you type something on your work--
(I type in the letters "F U", show computer to My Mom)
My Mom: (sniffs disdainfully) That stands for "follow up".
(steam pours out of my ears)

LATER. A "Sex in the City" promo comes on TBS.

My Mom: Which one is a lesbian?
Me: Cynthia Nixon. I like her.
My Mom: Now, she's a very good actress.
Me: Yeah, I respect her for coming out. She was married and I guess she felt she was living a lie-
My Mom: Well so was Anne Heche, and she was just confused.
Me: Nah, she's crazy, I read her biography and it was so sad. Her Dad was a closeted gay pastor who molested the entire family.
My Mom: Oh dear.
Me: People who claim to love Jesus seem to molest people a lot.
My Mom: I love Jesus.
Me: No you don't!!! Don't say that, don't be religous because everyone else is, it's trite.
My Mom: Well, I belive in a higher spiritual power.
Me: OK So do I but I don't have to call it a stupid title with a bunch of stupid associations.
My Mom: I don't beleive in organized religion per se-
Me: OK.
My Mom: (muses) But I do love Jesus.
Me: Oh, here we go.


April said...

OMG...i love two need a show.

NotWithoutMyHatand Bell said...

I Love Jesus..well sometimes, only when good things happen to me..

2na said...

Jesus is good... My Jesus cross was ripped off my neck by some whore on Halloween....
Where was God then? In the bathroom lighting up?