Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Hatefully Charming's Glory Hole: Episode #3.

Another blast from the past and not, it is hoped, your ass. Tee hee.

Friday, January 28, 2005
So Says I.

I have had two professors that talked in a way that was eerily reminiscent of cartoon character, Elmer Fudd.

The first was my driver's ed teacher in high school, who, during one of those "Blood On the Pavement" type fright filmstrips chose to wait until after a gruesome image of two corpses in a flaming automobile to announce, "There's the crispy critters" and them chuckle at himself. But instead it sounded like he said, "cwispy cwitters". I hated him and his mumbling and so I ditched class all the time. That's right, I almost flunked Driver's Ed, folks. My best friend Becky and I defaced his picture in our yearbooks with the phrase, "you wascalwy tuwn signal!"

The second Elmer Fudd was an ancient college English Literature professor, who had open contempt for the class and muttered his way through Chaucer all the while insulting us for being "stupid" as we fell asleep to his freakish droning. He once was directly behind me in the hallway as we proceeded to an elevator, and he said, "Not so fast, my dear", and indicated I should slow down to walk with him. We stood in the elevator in silence, while he stared directly at my profile with a weird grin. I was creeped out and didn't want to make eye contact with him. Of course I didn't understand what he had even said before we got in the elevator until months later. Then I was repulsed at the fact that he was being kind of pervy. Especially considering that earlier he had insinuated that the class was a bunch of half wits.

Jesus, filmstrips? I am old.

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