Tuesday, September 26, 2006
What A Feeling!
And that feeling is...nausea due to my poor choice in outfits. Someone watched too much "Flashdance". You see, I had some sort of freak out where I decided I needed to dress up to go out to a fun party Saturday- but only after looking at the (sad but true) website photo gallery for the Mis-Shapes party. Let the record state I am too old to even begin to try to emulate this kind of get up. It it the "Logan's Run" of style, meant only for precocious, slender, lovely, Eurotrash-wanna-be teenagers. Ones who, if they get the Pulp reference therein, were in elementary school at the time Jarvis and his bunch were at their heyday. Whereas at that time, I was buying "Different Class" at the secondhand half of Lou's Records in Leucadia, along with a Meat Puppets disc and probably a Teenage Fanclub import, so I'd have cool studying/necking music for my college dorm room. Eeek. Grandma likes to recollect her Brit Pop olden days!
Back to the lecture at hand: Not only did I look at pictures of the too cool for schooliest prior to a night out and have an inadequacy fit, I then let the American Apparel on Smith Street trick me into thinking it was appropriate to wear an electric blue cotton nightgown and black leggings out -IN PUBLIC. Oh, there's more- I cinched it with a jaunty beige suede sash-belt and wore bright red pumps. Someone is patriotic! As you can see the results were tragic. I am nothing if not pathetic. In the neighboring photo, poor Kloke is force to drink even more in order to tolerate my attempts at "fashion".
The irony is, we were at a birthday party for a new friend who is going to have his own show on Style Network. I suspect I may be asked to appear...in one of the "BEFORE" segments, you know- one of those scolding host shows where they take away my silver sequined belts and camoflauge trucker hats and midwestern Mom denim and slap my hand when I try to put a butterfly clip in my hair. Jennifer Beals, you minx! How you've deceived me lo these many moons! And YOU, Solid Gold's Costume Department!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!!
In closing: I should have just worn my uniform of skinny jeans, cute flats and a decent tank top. I had to go and complicate it. Let the photos, then, stand as my punishment. And YOURS.