Friday, September 29, 2006

Ca$h Money and Marvelou$: $370 Worth of one particular Friday.

From a recent email sent by a friend of mine, it's a Purity Test! Read on, if YOU DARE!

Look over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. Add up the money amount along the way, then post the amount. JUST CHARGE YOURSELF ONCE EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY STILL DO IT EVERYDAY!!!

Smoked pot -- $10
Dropped acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Hooked up in the bathroom at a bar--$10
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one whose name you didn't know -- $5
Had sex with someone whose last name you didn't know--$25
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, don't remember informaton from the night before and/or passed out -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Got oral -- $5
Gave oral -- $5
Gave / got oral in a car/cab while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone who'd been in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Had sex while someone else was in the room--$75
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you loved someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Had sex with someone who you knew you'd never see again--$15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Drank other people's drinks--$10
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

I realize most people would read this list and tick off things based on years of teenage drinking, collegiate Greek antics, and wedding reception open-bar fueled inebriation. I, on the other hand, seem treat it like a to do list for a Friday night after work wind down. It's a time to do a little self-evaluation when, we realize that the list sums up a scant few hours spent with an attractive-nay, VERY attractive- co-worker on one recent Friday evening. One night, and a total of $370.00. [Eds. note- some of these items were bolded prior, but I decided it was too much for even me to handle when it was on paper and removed the indicators. I'll let you go ahead and assemble the items leading to that total, like some sort of algebra problem where you have to show your work]

I will say this about myself: I am NEVER boring.


2na said...

sadly, most before 18, my twenties have been pretty mellow actually.

Rob said...

I beat you by 50 cents.

Brandy For Sale. said...

Well, that is because you peed in a pool. And that is just WRONG.

saraisloco said...

Shit. Mine came to $610. $610.50 to be exact. Majority of this - post college.

Giulia said...

$450.50, most post college as well. Most this past year actually.

Brandy For Sale. said...

Again gang- let me state, this total was for ONE night. Your friend Brandy is a bit of a slag.

If I totaled it up, the whole she bang of my lifelong mischief to date, I am scared at what it would be. Very scared.

matt said...

I got $555. And as a pool owner, I am very disappointed in some of you.

Emily said...

I only got $295 - guess I have some catching up to do...