Friday, July 20, 2007

Saturday Night Sobriety.


I do so love Wiki-How. In fact, I have it on my homepage so I can see the daily update "best of" selection. Today's was a doozy, as always. It was no "How To Duplicate A Mallard Mating Call" or your average "How To Be Humble" tat. No siree Bob, today's was a tribute to summer lovin' at its best. I was so inspired by this groundbreaking post that I decided to use my god-given right to type and join in the Wiki community. My additions to this fine list are noted in red. To all you young lovers out there, I say unto thee- rejoice! And remember, how do you tell a guy is lying? When he opens his mouth. Ta ta for now!

How to Know if a Guy Likes You (with some help from Ms. Brandy Barber!!!)

Probably the best way to know if a guy likes you is to simply ask him, but we all know that can be a challenge. So, here are a few clues to working out if he likes you as much as you like him.

Steps

  1. Examine his body language. If he likes you, you will see that his body position will lean forward toward you. Also, he will have a raging hard on in his pants.
  2. Be aware of touching. He might put his hand on your arm when he laughs, or not move his leg if it happens to touch yours, or put his hard on from his pants on your leg. This is a very good sign that he likes you.
  3. Keep an eye out. His pupils will dilate (get bigger) if he likes you, but this is quite hard to pick up on, and you might look a bit weird looking that closely into his eyes. Also, his weiner will fill with blood, causing a super-charged hard on in his pants.
  4. Joke freely. Does he laugh, even if you aren't funny, you cheap, tawdry little whore?
  5. Check for signs of nervousness: nervous laughter, sweaty palms, fidgeting, etc. Unless he's scared of public speaking and is about to make a presentation, it just might be that he's nervous about making an impression on someone he fancies (hopefully you).
  6. Smile. A big smile in return probably means the feeling is mutual. Also, a gi-normous bulging hard on in his pants.
  7. Notice the way he treats you, does he playfully tease you, or call you names, just to try and get your attention? It's natural for a guy to tease when he likes a girl, but remember, someone can still tease someone, even if they aren't attracted to them.
  8. Pay attention to his friends. If they know he's interested in you, they might tease him subtly when you're around, hint to you that he likes you, or even try to find out if you like him. Also study their reactions to your presence. Do they smile? Do they turn to him? If so, then there's a good chance he really does like you. Also if you call his name... note if his head snaps around right away or does it turn gradually? And what of his ample hard on, which is in his pants?
  9. If the guy wants to talk to you all the time there is a good chance that he will like you!!!!
  10. If he starts acting nicer when you're around him then he probably has a thing for you. And that thing is a hard on in his pants.

2 comments:

dynamite with a laser beam said...

"How to Find a Boner"
Wiki-Barber

Another Pig In Disguise said...

That made me laugh out loud.

Maybe I've been reading too much Chuck Palahniuk- too much fiction about priapism resulting from venomous spider bites.

Anyway, thank you.