Sunday, May 01, 2005

Prom Theme.

Originally uploaded by branleighbarber.

I had the best drunken hi-jinx fun at a party this weekend, I can't even tell you. It was one of those unintentional drunk nights, where you have a beer at 9 and suddenly, it's 5:30 am and you're in a cab wondering why your ex-boyfriend is calling your cell phone, and if you have any visible hickeys. I'm still wondering that one, actually. There was dancing, very drunken dancing. Did I slow dance with someone? Can't remember. I wish I could, I love slow dancing. Someone cute gave me his card and then I immediately lost it. The word make-out was thrown out at me as a proposition at least 3 times by various parties. I put my hands all over a bunch of fine-assed men- I can clearly recall having my hand pressed to someone's chest, and the feel of their sweater against the heel of my hand. There were a lot of boys in sweaters there, so who it was is a bit of a challenge. It's always so nice to stand close to boys, to feel that slight heat coming off them. Intoxicating. Sara and I were in fine, hateful form. Sara immediately announced that one woman there was a "great godamned beast" and the rest was downhill. I screamed "BEAT IT!" into people who I knew only in passing's faces. We showed up with a group of 7 women and Porter. Ben was there, and we had a nice time talking. It got weirdly familiar and confusing, because it was as if he and I were dating again, we were standing closely and talking, as always the 2 tallest people at the party. But then I asked who he was trying to pork there, and he told me that the guy I want to mount is seeing someone, so it was thankfully normal. Somehow numerous free drinks were procured. I felt like the song, "Don't You Want Me?" by Human League was playing in my head all night and kept singing it to myself while people were talking to me. Exhibit A:

Guy: I heard you and Sara are working on that new show?
Brandy (looking at her beer, mumbling softly): Don't You Want Me, Ohhhhhh- I'm sorry, what?

Things get blurry after the free shots. I do remember that Justin Purnell gave me a flashing disco ring, which Allocco promptly swiped. But that's OK because I stole her drink:

Sara is holding two bottles of beer, drinking one.

Brandy: Where did you get that?
Sara: The bartender gave it to me.
Brandy: (quietly, menacingly) Give that to me.
Sara: But I...OK.

Most of the night is a blur but I do hear tell from all of my friends that I ended up angrily making out pressed up against the mirrored bar in front of everyone there so, that's what we call "sophisticated". Why am I so angry? Why does anger make me so hot & bothered? So unhealthy. What most people consider bitterly fighting is like, some sort of foreplay to me. The angrier and more hateful someone makes me, the more I want to fight with them and then, ram my tounge down their throat. I have such a temper. Such a passion addict, high drama jackass. But you know what? It's never boring. I ended the night getting in the bed after listening to "Strange Magic" a few times on my awesome fancy headphones, stoned and smiling like I was Wiley Wiggins in one of the final scenes of Dazed and Confused.


Sara: I turn around for one second at the bar and you've got your tounge down someone's throat.
Brandy: We weren't making out that much, right? It was kind of subtle, I thought. Like, we didn't have our hands all over each other, did we?
Sara: Like you were on a plane going down in flames.


April said...

sounds like so much fun.

Brandy For Sale. said...

It was fun. Naughty, immature,loud, drunk obnoxious fun. Even when I was screaming at him at the top of my lungs in the street at 4 am, I was laughing.

Porter Mason said...

You will eventually run out of Fountains of Wayne songs to use as post titles, and then where will you be?

saraisloco said...

I remember three things:
1) Free french beer and shots from the adorable bartender
2) Yelling at a particualr gentlemen to "quick cockblocking Brandy" and to "beat it Troll!!"
3) a few sessions of some of the ladies grabbing at Porters crouch.

Yum yum.

Brandy For Sale. said...


my BonerTone (TM) is "Stacey's Mom".