Honesty is the best policy for making yourself look like an ass.

I was out the past four nights carousing. Each night had its own variant of hi-jinx. All nights did not involve complete drunkenness, but they did all involve staying out very late and being exhausted the next day. A lot of disco naps took place. Pictures of these adventures to follow.

My impulsive nature allows me to do things that are incredibly cringe-worthy and therefore all the more entertaining. These include stroking someone’s arm as he was leaving a bar and confiding to him in front of a table full of friends and mutual aquiantances, “I was trying to flirt with you before, but you were getting your head licked.” [NOTE: This should not have to be explained, but due to feedback I will include that he had a shaved head]. The next day, when I was briefly sober, I recalled this incident, groaned, and then went back to sleep as it was only 2 pm in the afternoon. You know why? Because I’m subtle & classy.

Here are some movies I have not seen, that I am supposed to see, because my friends loudly shamed me at a diner at 5 am for not having done so:

It's A Wonderful Life
White Christmas
The Big Lebowski

In turn I shamed them for not having seen:

Strictly Ballroom
Goodfellas
Xanadu

So there were plans made all around for cinematic escapades.

I am eating chicken noodle soup and I am so tired. I am going home tonight and putting myself into a deep sleep.

Rob Webber: I am so, so sorry I tried to take off your pants and also that I crawled on you and gyrated. It wasn't funny, it was invasive and rude. Sorry if it made you have a boner. Our friendship is worth more to me than a boner. Thanks. Oh and also I forogt to add I'm sorry I pulled up my shirt and screamed "Put 'em on the glass". Also inappropriate.