Monday, March 28, 2005

Honesty is the best policy for making yourself look like an ass.

I was out the past four nights carousing. Each night had its own variant of hi-jinx. All nights did not involve complete drunkenness, but they did all involve staying out very late and being exhausted the next day. A lot of disco naps took place. Pictures of these adventures to follow.

My impulsive nature allows me to do things that are incredibly cringe-worthy and therefore all the more entertaining. These include stroking someone’s arm as he was leaving a bar and confiding to him in front of a table full of friends and mutual aquiantances, “I was trying to flirt with you before, but you were getting your head licked.” [NOTE: This should not have to be explained, but due to feedback I will include that he had a shaved head]. The next day, when I was briefly sober, I recalled this incident, groaned, and then went back to sleep as it was only 2 pm in the afternoon. You know why? Because I’m subtle & classy.

Here are some movies I have not seen, that I am supposed to see, because my friends loudly shamed me at a diner at 5 am for not having done so:

It's A Wonderful Life
White Christmas
The Big Lebowski


In turn I shamed them for not having seen:

Strictly Ballroom
Goodfellas
Xanadu

So there were plans made all around for cinematic escapades.

I am eating chicken noodle soup and I am so tired. I am going home tonight and putting myself into a deep sleep.

Rob Webber: I am so, so sorry I tried to take off your pants and also that I crawled on you and gyrated. It wasn't funny, it was invasive and rude. Sorry if it made you have a boner. Our friendship is worth more to me than a boner. Thanks. Oh and also I forogt to add I'm sorry I pulled up my shirt and screamed "Put 'em on the glass". Also inappropriate.

6 comments:

saraisloco said...

I go away for one weekend and all hell breaks loose.

PS I saw the cute boy and he was getting his head licked and he smiled at me.

Brandy For Sale. said...

"Where have I seen you before?"

"Uh...well, I was just in a show that you came to."

Nice.

Porter Mason said...

I have seen "Goodfellas".

And I found that I do in fact have the DVDs for both the Christmas flicks, so perhaps friend date tonight will encompass one of those.

Ladies of the world: I know "It's a Wonderful Life" and "White Christmas" like the back of my hand, and get all choked up while watching them! And on top of that I have rugged good looks and am a delight to converse with! Why are you all not clamoring to date me, you fools?

Because you're suspect. All of ya.

Brandy For Sale. said...

I'll fix them ALL!

Porter Mason said...

http://www.tjmonkeys.com/thought.php?theid=973

Anne said...

How do you feel Mr. Bones?

Rattlin'!!

Mr. Bones feels rattlin'!