Hot ass work crush is standing right next to me using the microwave which is by my desk (which I assume is probably giving me a helpful but unnecessary abortion since it looks like it's from '79). My face is at his crotch level and I'm trying to see if there is any reason to rip his pants off (there may be a delightfully suspicious bulge). He is so soft spoken. Man he is KILLING me he is so fucking adorable. I have on headphones and he started talking to me and I just took them off and they got caught in my barrette, so I was yanking at my head like a buffoon...jesus, what's up Jerry Lewis?! I just kept my replies to one word responses after yesterday's debacle.
WORK CRUSH WALKS UP WITH A CUP OF TEA WITH A HUGE SILVER TES INFUSER METAL THINGY STICKIGN OUT OF IT. I STARE AT IT QUIZICALLY AND THEN CHUCKLE.
ME: "For a second I thought that was a huge safety pin, ha ha."
WORK CRUSH: (furrows brow and sort of smiles nicely as one would to a piss-scented, ranting homeless man) "No."
ME: "I thought, to each his own, ha ha [internal monologue: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING, SHUT UP! ABORT!!] I don't judge."
WORK CRUSH: (mumbles something pleasant which is a verbal escape hatch from crazy girl who guards microwave; escapes with tea)
ME: "What the fuck did I just do?! Why do I ever even open my mouth?!"