Sunday, June 26, 2005

Have That Removed.

Originally uploaded by branleighbarber.

I still have a crush on John Laraoquette. Who can resist the pervy diligence of Dan from "Night Court"? Not me.

Here is something I would like taken care of immediately. I no longer wish to turn on the television and see any fucking commercials featuring computer generated animation utilized to make animals speak. Case in point: a stupid talking dog that may or may not disclose the family recipe for baked beans. I wanted to take my own life when I was forced to watch it. It's not funny, or cute. Let's not even get started on the toilet-paper hawking bears in the forest that prance out from behind trees where branches have been magically rigged to accomodate toilet-paper rolls. Does a bear shit in the woods? Apparently the answer is yes when he uses Kleenex Cotenelle to wipe his hairy ass. It makes me not want to buy your stupid products. Fuck what Middle America falls for, I'm not having it. No more anthropomorphic (sp?) sales-animals for Brandy. Can someone get on this? Jesus what do I pay you people for?!

I just watched Annie on AMC, and I was surprised how much of it I remembered. Of course, I watched it constantly when it would air in HBO- my schedule was made around these repeats that year- and had the cassette of the movie soundtrack, which I must have played until the tape gave out. I sang along absentmindedly while Nigel sat by me, putting up with my tone-deaf yowling. And of course I cried constantly. My uterus is an enemy these days, sending out hormones that fell my attempts at being a truly sarcastic bitch and making me weep at the most corny, treacly crap. In then end I was forced to use none other than Kleenex brand facial tissues, to my chagrin.

Now I'm going to watch It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I love Jonathan Winters.

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