Remember when I said I didn't drink anymore?

Holland1995
Originally uploaded by branleighbarber.

Me, too. That was dumb to say that out loud so that others would hear me and then try to hold me to it.

Last night, I was determined to push myself to make conversation instead of clamming up like I normally do when I'm meeting people I don't really know. I feel like I come off as aloof and I hate that because I genuinely like people and like to meet them, but I get sort of shy in those types of situations. I was introduced to a guy by a very funny mutual friend, and both of us were sort of standing there saying nothing. And so, instead of being a jerk and making him make conversation I decided I would take a stab at it. So I asked how he knew the mutual friend. He said something banal, I replied pleasantly. He then said the space we were standing in was leading to us being jostled, and I agreed. And then he sort of stared into space. And I thought, "Ok well at least I tried to be friendly to a new person I met" as I made my way elsewhere. I was introduced to several other people, who were all very receptive and I was happy about how much I was interacting- no more akward, retiring mousiness for me.

Later when just the mutual friend and I were leaning up against the jukebox talking, I made polite conversation by saying, "Your friend seems like a nice guy." And he asked if he could be honest with me and I said yes. And then he told me that his friend wasn't really into outgoing women, he liked more retiring ones. And that the friend felt I was too outgoing. I don't know what the hell that even means. Actually, I do. It's a half-assed way of saying "unattractive".

I wanted to write something bitter and smart-assy here, something mean and sort of droll about how no good deed goes unpunished (said punishment being that attmepts at courtesey are msitaken as come-ons to be met with repulsion). But for some reason, it really upset me and made me cry. So I can't be funny about it right now. Maybe in a year. Check with me then.