There is no such thing as a safe cigarette.

When I was about 9 or 10 my Dad told me that he had a surprise for me. "There's a pony for you in the backyard!", he said. I was overjoyed and ran back around the house to the yard. But no pony was to be found. I looked around very carefully (we had a big yard) and then gave up and went back into the house, very worried. I told my Dad my pony was not in the yard.

He looked at me and he was sort of surprised. He laughed, and then a bit apologetically said, "You believed that? It's April Fool's Day."

That story sums up my weekend. You know what? No. Scratch that. That story sums up the past year of my life.