On The Good Foot.

Wild Rhythms!
Escape To Paradise!
Spicy Rhythms!
Ethnic Zebra!
Secret Land!

I am working at a company where these terms are bandied about with a straight face on conference calls. Seriously. Are you kidding me here? Barf. I knew working in the fashion industry (I want to kick myself for utilizing that term by the way) was going to be gross, but what I didn't anticipate was blushing with shame for others while at my desk, fucking off. It's like that feeling you get when you see some poor guy in a plush taco costume, handing out flyers for some godawful Mexican restaurant. It's eye-avertingly, half-hearted smilingly uncomfortable.


As I was walking to the F train this fine morn, a young lady drove by in her Jeep blaring "Conceited" by Remy Ma. I strolled along to it as if I was in a music video and mentally calculated what I would wear were I to star in it. Also, I picked my back up dancers and was halfway through their coordinating, complementary-to-but-not-overpowering-towards-my-outfit get ups when the light changed, she sped off, and the music faded. Bittersweet. I take this as an omen. It's going to be a good day.

Sorry about my arm herpes.

After last night, I made a new rule: no bringing home "cool stuff" I find on the street when drunk to decorate the apartment. Because as anyone who's fallen in love at last call knows, what's cool when you're liquored up has a way of being not so neat in the harsh light of day. I think when one is swilling Coors Lite, it seems perfectly rational to trudge home with a giant antique handwriting chart that's been discarded from the grimy public school next door. But when one wakes up to take a perfunctory shower before work and is startled by the newest addition to her rat's nest, then one must set sober boundaries for herself.

My catchphrase update:
Here are some contenders-

"My bosoms!" (to be shreiked and pronounced, bah-zooms)
"I'm the boss of applesauce!"
"No panties, no justice."
"My shirt got me laid."
"My woes are overrated."
"Lose the pants, handsome."

More updates on this to follow.