Today is the first day in a while that I did not want to be put down like an aged horse. I am taking it easy still, yes, but I am finally blessedly not craving handfuls of sleeping pills to put me out of my misery.
One good thing about being this deathly sick is, you get to do a lot of thinking and personal inventory-type stuff. Someone had decided that she needs to really evaluate a lot of unhealthy, stupid behaviors made over the past few months and then, chose not to replicate them. I never ever want to feel this way again. And I did this all to myself- the physical sickness, the emotional tumult, all of it. All my doing.
Having an variety of physicians tell you in plain English that you're an immature moron who made yourself sick is a great self-esteem builder. Putting yourself in situations where you let other people make you feel like a piece of garbage is also a neato way to feel A-OK. I think it's a super duper idea to can it with all this shit, grow up and take care of myself.
To that end, I am now going to watch "Her Alibi" on HBO Z. What.
4 comments:
Way to take responsibility for your actions, Kirsten Cohen!
I hope you feel better. I heard a rumor you are not coming to sleep with me till Saturday. I am sad but understand. I believe in your quest to grow up, I really do.
Thanks Guls. I am afraid I will cough on you and Tim and be the worst houseguest ever. Alternately I am afraid I will have a coughing spasm onstage during my demented diaries...let's hope that this resting prevents either.
Matt, you always know just what to say.
Hey sweet little Bran flake...
Must catch up over a few beers and some weird Euro DJ playing music too loud for the small space soon.
Feel better.
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