Thursday, March 16, 2006
Fever Dreams, Cough Suppressants And A Lot Of "Me" Time. Ick.
Today is the first day in a while that I did not want to be put down like an aged horse. I am taking it easy still, yes, but I am finally blessedly not craving handfuls of sleeping pills to put me out of my misery.
One good thing about being this deathly sick is, you get to do a lot of thinking and personal inventory-type stuff. Someone had decided that she needs to really evaluate a lot of unhealthy, stupid behaviors made over the past few months and then, chose not to replicate them. I never ever want to feel this way again. And I did this all to myself- the physical sickness, the emotional tumult, all of it. All my doing.
Having an variety of physicians tell you in plain English that you're an immature moron who made yourself sick is a great self-esteem builder. Putting yourself in situations where you let other people make you feel like a piece of garbage is also a neato way to feel A-OK. I think it's a super duper idea to can it with all this shit, grow up and take care of myself.
To that end, I am now going to watch "Her Alibi" on HBO Z. What.