Hi, my name is Brandy Leigh Barber. I have been drinking. Let's just get THAT out of the way. My very nice friend kept getting my drinks and I don't posses a smidgen of self control, so I said "Si senorita!" Just like that. Boy did that make the bus staff po'd. Anywayzzz, I am hammered. But on the subway home, a song you, Lloyd Cole, that YOU sang came magically onto my iPod. My iPod that my Dad, Terry, bought me for my recent birthday. Look a shiny thing! What? Anybutt, I want to "DO IT" with you. Based on one song you wrote which my friend, Dick Luxury played at a wedding. Now I am going to listen to "Crossroads" by Bone Thugs 'N' Harmony and reflect on when I went wrong, when it all went off the track and when I became this awfully drunk. It's going to be super duper.
But seriously, the offer stands. I will dry hump you in your cinnamon velvet blazer and then buy you a Maker's. I know how to treat a gent.
Someone shoot me in the mouth.
3 comments:
Hey what's up little miss you're perfect I love you now change...
bubby this makes me very sad. I would LOVE to have your height if just for one day so I'm not constantly thought of as a child or refered to as "Dakota Fanning" by the guy I'm boffing.
You are the FUCKING DOG'S TUXEDO and ANYONE who cannot see that is too busy with their head buried in their own ass of misery.
Or (let's face it) too drunk to notice. And whatevs, you don't want ot marry an alcoholic anyways.
Oops, I forgot to mention that Tim gave me this in Boston, it's a side from "Menopause: THE MUSCIAL!". Then he started doing high kicks.
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