In a drug-addled state after a weekend rampage a while ago, I saw a DVD in a store window. It was one of those unholy kids' DVDs where a beloved toy from my childhood has beenr e-licensed out and now any jackass can write a cruddy story for it and have is cheaply animated in TAiwan or something then sell it here under titles like "Pony-topia!" and "The Ponies' Pic-nic!" Even though I was going on one hour of "sleep" and was still drunk if not otherwise altered, I started mumbling the theme song to myself. At first quietly but then, with increasing volume. This continued throught the remainder of the very slovenly hung over day. At the time I knew it was assanine and downright irritating but I couldn't control myself, anymore than I can when someone I am mad at makes a pass at me and I have the urge to fuck them full of my venemous onyx hatred. I also knew, somewhere deep down inside, that it would be funny someday, if only to me.That day is today. I may have a fever of 99.9 degress. I may have been freezing a scant half hour ago to the point where i put on 4 layers of clothing. I may feel like I'm Angelica Houston in the Grifters and I just got fucking worked over with some oranges. My throat may feel like I swallowed glass, my nose my be raw, nay sire, even my sinuses may ache as if they had Lincoln Logs jammed into them by a bad little ADD boy from the kindergarten class named Corey who all the other parents resent for his constant disruptions. ALl of this and more may be the case. I may be fucking miserably sick. But at least I have My. Little. Fuckin. PONY.
Here is my version, with apologies to those present and you know who you were:
My Little Pony, My Little Pony
Pony, Pony, Pony, Pony... [trails off, stares at ceiling, looks around for half-drunk beer]
Here is one of the actual songs I found on the magical inter-web!:
My Little Pony Rainbow Ponies
Beautiful ponies with rainbow hair
My Little Pony Rainbow Ponies
Rainbow colors everywhere!
There are Starshine and Windy,
Moonstone and Sunlight,
Par-a-sol, and Skydancer, too!
My Little Pony Rainbow Ponies
[Little pony, it's all for you]?
Now I don't know about you but I think that sounds suspicously similar to another popular tune about ponies. But I am sick in the head.
6 comments:
Hi Brandy! It's Anne!
I asked for a My Little Pony for my birthday, and was told I was too old for it.
I was.
Nodar! You scamp!!!! I miss you!
oh sweet lord the pony... thank god you figured out the rest of the words maybe now your fever will drop as your body and mind are finally at ease.
holy crap i am hung over that isn't the my little pony song you tricky b vixen i am getting back under my desk... if you wear to many layers it keeps the fever in you know!
I miss you too Brans! When you feel better come over for Slow Cook Sunday.
PS: I was 14 when I asked for a MPP. I also went Trick-Or-Treating that year. Way, way too old.
you and emma are twin souls. really. the whole my little pony experience proves it.
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