I mean...who doesn't?!? It's like my boyfriend, Scott Peterson, was saying the other day. I found some bobby pins by the bed that weren't mine- I mean, I don't use bobby pins, I'm not from the 1940s, people- and boy, was I HOPPING mad! I was going to give that rascal Scott Peterson the what-for and the how-do-you-do-kind-sir, let me tell you.
But Scott Peterson looked deep into my eyes and said, "Baby, those are clearly yours. I mean, I just found them when I was cleaning behind the bed and no one else has been here since you and I started dating!" I was confused but then he said, "Hon, you know I love you." It was so sweet, the way his nose wrinkled when he said it. Also the way he put his hands around my throat, just ever so gently but enough to leave little pink marks on the skin.
Seriously, Scott Peterson is super romantic and I bet he's right. Maybe I like, forgot I wore bobby pins when I dressed as a flapper for Halloween like, 3 years ago and they like, fell out or something...I don't want to think about it. Just drop it, OK? Wait, did I tell you? You guys, Scott just called and left me a message! He's going to take me to Nobu and Suite 16 tonight, "just because"!!! Do I have the world's best boyfriend OR WHAT?!?
8 comments:
I asked Scott to stay away from you but that just made him and his friends beat me senseless.
He must really care about you.
(COUGH)
Ouch! It hurts to cough.
I remember when I met Scott at that insurance retreat in Palm Springs, and he looked at me and said "Hey there little lady, you fit for a King?", while blowing in my ear. It was creepy. Really fucking creepy. So I gave him your number. And now you guys are so happy!!
I wear bobbie pins.
I also wear your jeans around your apt sans panties while you are at work.
Yes, but did Scott grab your ass and ask you if you were wearing underwear backstage at my last show? THAT is what I want to know.
I liked when he asked me out on a date...to meet you while you were on a date. Nice.
THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT! MY DICK FELL OUT OF MY PANTS AND INTO SOMEONE'S MOUTH! OH GOD!!! CALL ME!!!!!
Regarding ass grabbing and "are you wearing panties..."
No comment...
Aww, shit, I commented!!!!
i will beat that clowns sad midgit ass
you know it you call me and tell me to
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