Mom, don't read this one.

Seriously, don't, Kathy.


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I should not have gotten so stoned. But, yet I did. It seemed like a good idea. I made a cup of peppermint tea, lit a Pomengranate scented candle, put on some headphones, and turned on the music.

Thoughts:

How do you type and not get ash on the keyboard? Smokers only.

"Special" by Garbage. What a cool ass fucking video. I wish it was on right now. I wish we had "The Box" on the east coast. Wait did we? I can't remember, maybe Viacom bought it out? The last thing I requested on the Box was, "1999" by Cassius. That was the name of this rat my best friend Becky and I saw at the Oceanside Harbor Denny's in the crack in the booths.

Air drums to "Misunderstading" by Gensis- one moment.

Shit, I burned my Hello Kitty stashbox because I left my cigarrette on it. And of course when I set the cigarette down I told myself that would happen and it did. I can't tell if the smell is from burned pink Hello Kitty box or Pomengranate candle.

I wish I could fall in love with one of my friends who I can't but it would be nice if I could. He's kind of wonderful.

No one, I repeat, no one wants to hear "alone Again, Naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan when high. Speaking of Viacom he was on Vh1 when it was the boomer channel. He does have a nice voice though.

I also have a crush on the close friend of CENSORED, who I cannot even begin to fathom going after. But since I have for so long, why not hope? A New Hope. Like Star Wars. I spelled CENSORED, CENCORED at first.

Sometimes I miss smoking pot with my ex boyfriend from college. He was the funnest on occasion.

I am happy to stay up until all the noise on the corner ceases.

Peppermint tea is a-ok.

OK, I have to do some taking back. I may have been snotty and talked shit on Counting Crows in college. I take it back. I do like them, and not only that, 2 most awesome songs to sing in the shower are: "Long December" and the Wallflowers' "Sixth Avenue Heartache". But right now I'm listening to the prior and it makes me feel like waking up after a coked up 3 way in a Hollywood motel room must. Or does. Or could. Or has. Drew Barrymore! What a scamp. But seriously, it really does sound sort of heartbroken and it makes me think of dumb boys in college, and of staying up really really late and then watching the sun rise on the beach. Southern California is stupid but sometimes, it is a beautiful place to be hungover. I wonder if I miss it as much as I miss the people I used to have in my life when I lived there. Think again, it's the latter.


"Bell Bottom Blues" is also very awesome and very evocative to me which is odd because I didn't really get it until I was 19 or so. It wasn't some bittersweet song that I adopted to show how cool I was in my bad, oh so sad "I'm from the '60s" 15 year old phase. Let''s just say there were knee high white fringed moccasins involved. Let's not talk about it again ever. Oh also I was obsessed with the '60s but totally dogmatically "Say No To Drugs". How gay. Anyway "Bell Bottom Blues" came from when I was 19 and involved in the most damaging, hate-filled, passionate relationships of ever with this AMAZING looking insane male model psycho guy. I also love "Layla" which makes me think of "Good Fellas", what a great movie. I hate violence but I loved that movie.

In Reverse, which was a great Matthew Sweet album, got very little attention. I think that was unfortunate. He's an amazing guy.

Ok now I am going to eat an Oreo and go to bed.