Thursday, January 06, 2005

Mouthful of Sores

I am home and in one piece. I could not go to sleep last night, because I was wired up from in-flight coffee, the time change and the separation anxiety caused by leaving my family. Instead I read outdated TONYs that arrived here when I was in California, just to see what I missed. What a lame ass.

Nigel is in good spirits, and has not acted out too much at me for being gone so long. He is, however, not impressed by 2 of the Xmas toys I was thrilled to present to him in a desperate attempt to prove I am a loving cat owner/parent. The first toy is called, "Thing In A Bag!" It's a battery operated ball inside a durable, cloth sack designed to resemble a brown paper elementary school lunch bag. The ball, when activated, is supposed to jiggle and give the impression that there is a live creature of some sort rustling about inside the bag, thereby tricking a cat into pouncing upon it. Unfortunately, the ball makes a horrible
hammering sound when the toy is placed upon my wood floors. Perhaps "Enraged Woodpecker in A Bag" would have been a more accurate description. In any case, Nigel seems more nervous about TIBG than playful. It went to his toy box to rest. Forever.

My second toy attempt: I was beside myself with glee when I saw a remote controlled mouse at Target. Li-An has one and her cat, Inky, goes nuts for it. I snatched the electric mouse up, stuffed it into the smaller of my 2 near-bursting suitcases (all the while hoping that my greed would not cause another Aaliyah luggage episode) and giggled like a buffoon all the way home at the thought of Nigel's reaction. He was going to love it, I told myself. He'd be so excited!!
Fast forward to 10 minutes ago: Nigel watched my spaz attempts to operate "MicroMouse" into something resembling a circle, yawned, and walked away. When I rammed "MicroMouse" into his paw, hoping to incite some violence, Nigel just gracefully picked his paw up, the way you would to avoid stepping on a dog turd that you spied on the sidewalk peripherally at the last second.
Now MicroMouse is sitting on my desk, and is to become a decorative paperweight. I recycle.

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