Monday, February 06, 2006

Thanks But I'm Trying To Cut Down.


I am officially over having a period and declare that I don't want to any more from this day forward. This, then, I would like to be the last day I am awoken from a sound slumber by crippling cramps issuing forth from my hyperactive uterus in order to stumble to the bathroom covered in my own blood, looking like some fucking extra from a George Romero movie. I further renounce having to not only clean myself up, but then having to scrub off the tile from the crime scene that has just apparently taken place all due to my not choosing to be knocked up.

I decry that I no longer wish to have to discard items of clothing due to my having saturated them with unneeded placenta.

Lastly, this is the last time I have to issue an apology to Allocco for bleeding on she & Annie's bath mat.

Now THAT'S better.

2 comments:

Brandy For Sale. said...

Liam, you sure do know lots about the broads and their plumbing.

Brandy For Sale. said...

Well this takes the cake. You've managed to plug a show and disabuse vaginas all in one fell swoop. You seem to be some modern day Andrew Dice-Clay, Liam.