The Great Escape.

The Great Escape
Originally uploaded by branleighbarber.

There are a lot of things to discuss today, so I will be dividing things up into sections. Also, I don't know why this post & photo are formatted so stupidly but I perosnally loathe it. The goddamned computer keeps overheating and shutting itself off (how considerate of it) so I am really in a state at this point. I digress:

In Fine Fettle
This warm weather wave has me literally hot & bothered. This is fucking weather and I am not amused at the lack thereof. Add to this my turning on the FINALLY WORKING television and low and behold, Velvet Goldmine is on. How unfair is that? I was forced to watch Ewan McGregor slither around full frontal in a perfect 1970's mullet slathered in glitter and oil, than watch him makeout with John Rhys-Meyers who is much prettier than I could try to be with all that makeup on, then see Christian Bale beating off to a picture of the two of them kissing, and finally, watch Ewan make out with the ever-creepy Christian Bale. How cruel. This is a cruel, hot, sexy, cruel world. Goddamn do I have a boner for hot men kissing. Excuse me while I drink another glass of wine. A-thank you, a-thank you.

"Beer, scotch, juice box, whatever."
I went out to my friend Rob's birthday party late Friday night and decided to drink a large quantity of vodka in a short period of time. This resulted in public nudity, which is something I pride myself on avoiding at all costs. I am a total prude, so there was something clearly wrong with me. I then flopped onto a couch, placed my chin on my hands, and declared, "I Like Parties!" What an asshole. When I told this to Ben, he said, "Wow, you really are in love with yourself, huh?" Meaning that, since I was sort of marveling at how gross I act when I get too drunk, I was being a little self-serving. I thought about this later; do I come off as proud of what an idiot I am? Because I'm more shocked at it. That doesn't mean I'm going to knock it off, mind you. Thinking. [I was typing a whole sentence, but the fucking laptop shut itself off so I am just leaving that one word because it seemed to fit]

Retard.
I watched Pretty in Pink, and not only did I feel old, but I cried like an idiot at the end. Yay! Love & mortality with a background provided by the Psychedelic Furs? It's like I'm 15 except I'm not, even though I still act like I am! More wine, sire!

THIS FUCKING COMPUTER BETTER NOT SHUT ITSELF OFF AGAIN I SWEAR, OR ELSE I'L