Radiation Vibe.

My favorite Broadway musical is Sweet Charity. I am excited to see the New York production. I always love to sing "Big Spender" at karaoke, it is my sad musical theater fantasy come true. When I sang it at my & Sara's Down With Love Anti-Valentine's Day karaoke party this year, I was really flattered because out of our 40 odd drunk women and 6 straight men friends who were there, 3 of the dudes said I was singing "all sexy". Hey, bitter, haggard and drunk is ALWAYS a turn on, dudes. Just look at Jessica Lange- cowabunga!

I was thinking today about two totally different men I knew at different times in the past few years who moved to New York to "do comedy", then immediately got day jobs and clingy vapid girlfriends and did jack shit. Why would you pay $1,000 a month to sit on your ever-growing fat ass while being nagged at by a nutjob with a fucking bad bleach job and Uggs on, mastering the art of failing at your life dreams ever so deftly, when you can do that shit in a trailer in Kentucky much more reasonably? Oh, and hey pal- when she gets "accidentally" knocked up, I assure you the Moose Lodge rental for the wedding won't be booked too, too far in advance. Suckers.

Today I pulled a pair of cute little fitted boxer shorts out of my panty drawer that I forgot I even had, and then started crying because they were a gift from my ex-boyfriend when I was in the hospital after I had my second seizure. I don't know if I was crying because I missed what it was like back then when we were still in love or if I just missed knowing that when I have a seizure, someone will bring me cute panties to cheer me up at St. Vincent's. Perhaps I should appoint a designated panty pal. I'll get right on that.

I had a job interview today. It was pretty OK. Whatever.

I am a little bit better with what seems to be the inevitable fact that I am going to die alone and unfulfilled in love today. Every day, just a little bit better.

I ate at San Loco with Sara and all was right with the world.

No hugs for pigs!