Sunday, April 17, 2005
OK, I have ultimate pre-show jitters. This is why I could never be a stand up. To go around putting yourself in this position nightly takes a certain level of bravery I don't have. Also, the fact that I have certain pre-show rituals that must be observed ahd adhered to takes me out of the running. Because if I did nightly shows and pulled this, I'd resemble fat Elvis and that is no good.
Here's a peek:
Sleep until 11 am.
Check into stuff on blog.
Become fascinated with reading the entire "Overheard in New York" archives.
Three hours later,polish off all the leftovers in the fridge (Chipotle, Thai Sesame)
Drink a Diet Cherry VAnilla Dr. Pepper
Go over materials for show
Worry about outfit
Sit on couch, watch the scene in LOTR where Viggo Mortensen breaks up with Liv Tyler; start inexplicably crying
Back at computer, downloading Brandy's Greatest Hits Selections
Write into to pieces I'll premiere tongiht
Eat two handfuls of Hershey's Kisses
Drink a R.W. Knudsen Boysenberry Spritzer
Eat the remainder of a loaf of lard bread smeared with tofu cream cheese
Dance to "Sittin' Up In My Room" and taunt Nigel with Sour Cream & Onion potato chips
Worry about hair looking bad oonstage
Scold Nigel for scratching couch
Stare out the window at dumb couples eating dumb overpriced brunch at subpar "pan Asian" across the street
Sing along to "Almost Doesn't Count" balefully; when my vouce cracks, start over (kind of like Ashlee Simpson)
Wonder if I'll have time to eat before show
Wish I'd gone outside earlier
Consider going outside
Realize I'm wearing grey sweatpants that have suspect stains on them; shrug.
Ask Nigel if he thinks I'll do OK tonight; he runs under the couch.
Folks, talk about professional!!